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So, it's your first time nursing a baby. Did you and your partner read a comprehensive breast-feeding manual or take a prenatal breast-feeding class? Whether you did or didn't, both of you may feel insecure about it in the beginning.
There are many resources available to teach mothers about breast-feeding: prenatal classes, the baby's grandmothers, Web sites, books, friends, or a lactation specialist. You can learn of the various positions to hold the baby, breast care before and during nursing, and nutrition, for example. Also if you are returning to work, you will need to learn your employer's policies regarding breast-feeding at the work site.
None of these resources, however, addresses the vital role the baby's father plays in successful breast-feeding for baby and mother.
When the mother and new baby come home, there are a lot of adjustments for everyone. There is a new schedule and new challenges, not to mention new joys. The breast-feeding may be going well or be difficult. How can fathers support all of these changes? The support falls into three areas: philosophical or intellectual support, practical support and emotional support.
Philosophical or intellectual
By showing an interest in and curiosity about breast-feeding, dads show that they are committed to the welfare of both mother and baby. Dads are often intrigued by the academic and scientific studies. When they learn of the health, environmental and financial benefits of breast-feeding, they usually become advocates. This is philosophical and intellectual support. Breast-feeding goes more smoothly when Dad is supportive of the idea.
Practical support
Practical support is the easiest one to discuss. Mothers may need help preparing meals and with kitchen cleanup. Laundry, pet care, shopping and housecleaning could be delegated temporarily. Dad can even help by writing thank-you notes and addressing birth announcements. If finances allow, paying someone from outside the family to help with household duties and shopping can be invaluable for a short time.
Emotional support
During the time of breast-feeding whether weeks or months the mom may feel frustrated, anxious, sad or uncertain. Those close to the mother are a great help when they listen with compassion without giving advice and judgments. She may just need to get something off of her chest. A hug, kiss or a cup of tea can be offered. Just being heard goes a long way toward feeling better. Listening well builds a strong relationship of love. Of course, if Dad feels that something more serious is going on, and Mom is having ongoing signs of depression or anxiety, then he can find professional help.
Virginia Bobro, accredited La Leche League leader, said, "Breast-feeding is more than simply a method of feeding. It is a whole package of nurturance and nutrition rolled into one.
When both parents are in agreement that breast-feeding is the way to go and their expectations and goals are in sync, parents can work together as a team to communicate openly and problem-solve as needed. When mother knows she is supported intellectually, practically and emotionally, her experience will be more positive and the whole family benefits from that."
Resources:
California Breastfeeding Coalition, http://www.californiabreastfeeding.org
La Leche League of Ventura County, English and Spanish, 659-4018
St. John's Regional Medical Center, Babies First, 988-2784 and 988-2796
St. John's Regional Medical Center, Community Education "Breastfeeding: Getting Started," 988-2865
Wet Set Gazette, http://www.dy-dee.com
St. John's Regional Medical Center/St. John's Pleasant Valley Hospital, classes in English and Spanish.
Send your questions to Health Watch, c/o Community Services, St. John's Pleasant Valley Hospital, 2309 Antonio Avenue, Camarillo, CA 93010. Answers to Health Watch questions may or may not be the appropriate remedy for your particular condition. If a medical problem persists, consult your physician.
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