Goal-setting tips from local experts: Relationships

Goal-setting tips from local experts: Relationships


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2015 is out, 2016 is in. The holidays are over and that means it's time to get down to business on those New Year's Resolutions. Join KSL Local for our three-part series featuring common goals and local expert advice for how to reach them.

This first article focuses on relationships. Melissa Lambson, founder and director of New Leaf Counseling in Sandy offered the following advice for goal-setting:

1. Focus on an attribute. For my clients, I will often suggest they choose an attribute each week to work on. For example, your goal one week is to work on patience, and another to work on listening or tolerance.

2. Focus on Love Languages. You may feel loved when you hear the words, 'I love you," but your spouse may not. He or she may need physical touch, gifts or time in order to feel loved. Make a goal to identify the ways your spouse feels loved and act on those.

3. Validate another's feelings. Rather than trying to change your loved one or attempting to get them to understand things the way you do, try to understand things from his perspective. Say things like, "It must have hurt when that happened," or "That is frustrating. I'm sorry you had to go through that."

Tim Einfeldt, a family therapist and licensed clinical social worker in Cedar City, says that while having goals is important, in order to reach those goals, you must have measurable objectives.

"If your goal is to have a better relationship with your wife, a daily measurable objective could be that when you come home from work, you find her first and give her a hug," Einfeldt said. "You could also make a point to take her on a date every week, and make sure that during conversations, you listen to understand, instead of listening to fix.

"By focusing on the daily measurable objectives, you will be able to attain the larger goal more easily."

Don't let the post-holiday slump deter you from setting goals in the New Year. There are many experts near you that can help you reach your goals, and KSL Local can help you find the perfect person for your particular needs.

Stay tuned for the next installment, the ever-popular goal of fitness and wellness.

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