Estimated read time: 1-2 minutes
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Sometimes wearing a wife beater to the office party and claiming you're somebody that was arrested on "Cops" just won't work. Especially if you're a name. People expect more. So ... here's some help for the people that need it most.
1) Rocky Anderson ... eharmony founder Dr. Neil Clark Warren. If you've seen the ads and seen Rocky on the news, you know these guys are really identical twins separated at birth. Neil has a few pounds on Rocky. They talk exactly the same.
2) Jon Huntsman, Jr. ... Neil Diamond. I know he's more of a rocker, but all he has to do is let the brows and hair grow ... and be able to belt out, "Forever in Blue Jeans."
3) Lewis Billings ... mayor of Utah's SECOND largest city. It's not just about tax revenue allocation. It's about ego.
4) Orrin Hatch ... a singer. Oh, wait ...
5) Andrei Kirilenko ... a content Jazz player. It will up his trade value.
6) Mark Eaton ... a leprechaun. How weird would that be? The tallest guy in the room is the leprechaun. It would be like a trip to the bizarro world ... of leprechauns.
7) Warren Jeffs ... insane. He can always appeal ...
8) Wally Bugden (attorney) ... Mark Geragos (attorney). Wally had Warren Jeffs. Mark had Scott Peterson. Neither won, and they might look a little alike through beer goggles.
9) Lindsay Lohan (honorary Utahn) ... Lindsay Lohan (permanent Utah resident) -- a guy can wish, can't he?
10) Lindsay Lohan (honorary Utahn) ... Lindsay Lohan (permanent California resident) -- UHP can wish, can't it?