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SALT LAKE CITY -- Connoisseurs from all walks of life enjoy a guilty pleasure from time to time.
For example, world-renowned chef and 12-Michelin-star awardee Gordon Ramsay told Scotland’s The Daily Record, "In-N-Out burgers [are] extraordinary. I was so bad, I sat in the restaurant, had my double cheeseburger, then minutes later I drove back round and got the same thing again to take away."
For the film lover, that guilty pleasure comes every summer. Film fans wait all year for the three-month celebration of vapid eye candy and uninspired sequels. Sure, they prefer to dine on samplings from the Cannes and Sundance film festivals, but when it comes time for the fast food of film, movie enthusiasts want their 3D glasses, studio tent-poles and the photorealistic wonderment of computer animation.
So to those who celebrate this season of Hollywood gluttony, here’s what you have to look forward to this summer.
May:Riddled with sequels, May opens the summer season with follow up films to three wildly successful franchises -- “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides,” “The Hangover Part II” and “Kung Fu Panda 2.”
The jury is still out on “Panda” and “Hangover,” but “Pirates” seems to be falling flat with critics. Tim Robey of [The Daily Telegraph](http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/film/filmreviews/8510036/Pirates-of-the-Caribbean-On-Stranger-Tides-review.html) calls it “a script with scurvy” while the nicest thing Andrew Barker of [Variety](http://www.variety.com/review/VE1117945199?refcatid=31) had to say was,“Production design and visual effects all look very expensive”.June: The month dons a CG (computer graphics) cape, as it unleashes the goofy-looking “Green Lantern” and retro-indulgent “X-Men: First Class.” Loyal fans are hopeful for the two comic book adaptations, but the 2006 film “X3” was the last straw for many X-Men fans, and the CG costume Ryan Reynolds pretends to wear in “Lantern” is turning out to be a hard sell for most self-respecting gluttons.
But June isn’t all about superheros. J.J. Abrams’ “Super 8” writes a love letter to classic '80s pics like “ET” and “Close Encounters of the Third Kind.”
The media campaign for the film enjoys the same ambiguity as Abrams’ 2008 “Cloverfield,” but Spielberg fans can’t help but notice the director’s seal of approval on the film’s latest trailer.
At the end of the month, Pixar gambles with a wildly unnecessary sequel to one of its weakest offerings: “Cars.” Pixar loyalists keep whispering to themselves, “Pixar has never let us down before,” but it’s possible the famliy-aimed spectacle has more to do with pushing toys than it does living up to the studio’s reputation.
July: The entire value menu of summer samplings is promised in July. Superheros, family films, books-to-film, nostalgic flashbacks — July has them all.
Unfortunately, July also opens with “Transformers: Dark of the Moon.” Even guilty-pleasure-seekers have to admit the Transformers series is beyond apology. Yet, here we are — three deep in possibly the worst franchise in summer history.
“Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part II” follows the Transformers. Potter is going head-to-head with the traditionally animated “Winnie the Pooh." While Pooh is destined to get crushed in the face-off, those hoping to see 2D animation make a comeback will do their best to give that “silly ol’ bear” a respectable box-office return.
For the men of July, "[Captain America: The First Avenger](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sff8gNloRRs)" leads the charge. Captain America marks the second film from Marvel and Disney and the third Marvel property to soak up summer funds this year. “Thor” and “Captain America” are being released the same year to make way for next year’s “The Avengers.”The good Captain will then try to battle off "Cowboys & Aliens" a week later. And if he somehow manages to succeed, there’s also an entire village of little blue people in “The Smurfs” that want to take him down that same week as well.
So happy summer, movie fan. Enjoy the greasy, deep-fired goodness of a momentary indulgence and then get back on your diet of meaningful art sometime in late August. Try not to overlook some of the smaller treasures like “The Tree of Life,” “Troll Hunter” and “Iron Clad,” but if you find researching such films is getting in the way of your mindless enjoyment, you may just have Redbox those at a later time.
