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There seems to be many myths about affairs. One myth is that somehow an affair makes us more. Subconsciously, we are trying to replace something and are trying to be more than what we are. An affair can be a sign of trying to look like we are viable, strong people. But that view is an illusion. It is an illusion that the people around you are going to make you stronger. It is an illusion to think that being attractive to someone outside of your marriage will make you feel better about yourself. You eventually find out that you are a weak person who has to now deal with the fact that your family is falling apart and that people don't trust you. That impacts self-esteem.
The best way to overcome the devastation of an affair is to avoid one altogether. Here are some of Matt's tips for affair-proofing a marriage:
2. Talk together and set solid boundaries with each other.
a. Know where you're strong.
b. Know where you're weak.
3. Learn to talk to your partner, and talk about your feelings and temptations. Talk about your rules as a couple. Talk about what is okay and what isn't okay.
4. Seek help sooner rather than later. When you first begin to feel the temptation is the time to seek help.
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