News / 


12 photos

Estimated read time: 2-3 minutes

This archived news story is available only for your personal, non-commercial use. Information in the story may be outdated or superseded by additional information. Reading or replaying the story in its archived form does not constitute a republication of the story.

The other day I read an article about 32 different uses for beer, besides drinking it. Not being an expert on beer, I was somewhat curious...and found that you can fix brown spots on your lawn, loosen rusted lug-nuts, shampoo hair, remove stains, among other things.

I wondered, as I have wondered before, who would have thought to try such uses the first time. Like the artichoke. Who would have thought to peel back the outer layers, then cook and eat an artichoke after dipping it in butter. Or putting the hearts in a salad...

Or the first person to eat a squid. A nice trout or salmon I can understand, but a squid? Deep fried they are ok, but way back when I can't imagine them being served with a nice dipping sauce. As long as I called it Calamari, by kids would eat it...but when they learned it was squid, it was all over. But I digress.

How about the first guy to jump out of an airplane with a parachute. Sure, Da Vinci was a genious and invented the parachute, but did he ever do it? Of course not, he was too smart. Can you imagine how nervous the first guy to do it was?

How about the first guy to bungee jump. Oops, guess we have to shorten the cord!

The best one, though, must have been the bosses at Sea World telling a worker that they were going to be part of the show with the Killer Whales...the conversation might have gone something like this.....

"Be a part of the show. Cool. How are we going to do that?" they must have asked.

"You're goiong to get in the tank, and swim and ride them."

"say what? They're KILLER WHALES!"

"That's OK, they eat fish and they have small mouths. Relatively speaking...go ahead, you're first!"

It's like that redneck joke...What's the last thing you hear a redneck say? Hey, watch this......"

I'm going to try the beer on the brown spots on the grass. "Honest honey, it's for the LAWN!"


Most recent News stories

Grant Nielsen


    Catch up on the top news and features from, sent weekly.
    By subscribing, you acknowledge and agree to's Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

    KSL Weather Forecast