Childhood trauma shaped RSL coach, but a book helped him heal and lead with trust and love

SALT LAKE CITY — Pablo Mastroeni was sitting on the porch of someone else's house, learning how to live in a foreign country he already loved, when tragedy remade him.

"I was five, and we'd just moved from Argentina," he said. "I was sitting on the front stoop of my uncle's house where we were staying. ... I heard this commotion inside. It was my dad in a fit of rage, literally punching holes in walls, and I walked inside, and I see him frothing at the mouth. And I see my mom carrying around my dead brother."

Before he could read, ride a bike or tie his own shoes, Mastroeni learned to swim through the kind of grief that doesn't just impact a life, it changes it. But it would be decades before he'd understand how his brother's tragic death shaped his own life.

"I had a bad concussion," he said. "And I was having anxiety, so I started going to a therapist."

It was a few years before the nine-time Major League Soccer player led the Colorado Rapids to an MLS championship in 2010. It was after he'd made his adopted country proud with his contributions to two U.S. men's World Cup teams.

He was in his early 30s, happily married to his high school sweetheart and raising two children he adored. And while he didn't have any idea what anxiety was, he knew playing soccer was the only place he felt safe. He just didn't know why.

"I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety, and the deeper we dove into it, this situation cameup," he said. "From the time I was five, I perceived that death would be lurking around in any corner. And not knowing as a 5 year old how to deal with such traumatic experiences ... with death, it was a part of who I was."

Understanding how his childhood trauma affected how he viewed the world changed his life. In a way, it gave him back some of the control he didn't even know the heartbreak had stolen.

"I mean, all this coming so late in life, I was a bit shocked," he said. "The first thing my therapist said was, 'I can't believe a player that perceives the world this way, can actually be a contributing member of society. And not only that, but can achieve what you've been able to achieve in a professional sporting career.' ... Just because the fear was so prevalent. But that really only existed away from the game."

On the pitch, Mastroeni felt invincible.

"What I have come to understand about soccer is it was my sanctuary away from this life of fear and death," he said. "And it was a place where I found solace in my craft, solace in community, safety, friendship, brotherhood."

For him, it was never just a game.

"Soccer, for me, has a much more significant meaning," he said. "And so as a player, I never played for contracts. Obviously, we play for trophies, and it's great to win, but that was always secondary. I always played to be a part of something greater than myself and to feel safe and to feel a fraternity of brothers really."

And it was during this time that someone recommended he read a book — "The Untethered Soul by" Michael Singer. Mastroeni called it "his bible" and said he reads from it — and Singer's book "The Surrender Experiment" — regularly.

"It's just an exceptional read," he said, noting how "life aligns, when you just stop trying to control things."

Those books have transformed his life on and off the pitch. After he retired in 2013, he was hired to coach the club where he'd spent most of his career — Colorado. Being fired a few years later unmoored him, but he continued learning how to align his actions with the man he wanted to be.

It was staying open to possibility that led him to take an assistant coaching job with Real Salt Lake, never considering he'd be asked to take over head coaching duties with just weeks left in the season.

"I've surrendered to it," he said. "I know whatever situation I fall into is the perfect situation for me, (for) the path that I'm on."

Mastroeni shared the heartbreak, struggles and triumphs of his life, and how these books helped him become the person and coach he aspires to be in KSL's new podcast — "Coaches' Book Club."

"The Untethered Soul" is May's book club selection, and Mastroeni will return at the end of the month for a second episode on how the principles detailed in the book have changed him as a coach and a father, and how they continue to help him create a culture in the clubhouse that is about more than stats and scores.

"Soccer for me is not something you do," he said. "It's something that you live; it's something that you breathe; it's brought the greatest joys in my life. And to be able to share those joys with a bunch of like-minded individuals that care for you, that want the best for you, that are all moving in the same direction was really something important for me."

Mastroeni took over Real Salt Lake as interim coach in August 2021, nearly a year after the club was put up for sale. The league ran the team, and after Mastroeni took over, RSL shocked everyone with an unlikely appearance in the Western Conference finals.

He was hired by the new owners in January 2022, and he remained the club's leader through another ownership change in April 2025. The club's playoff run is the subject of a narrative podcast from KSL — "Making of a Moment."

This story is written from interviews for that podcast.

"It's not just the game by itself," he said of how players, coaches and fans find connection and meaning in sports. "It's the game with a group that stick together, that believe in each other and what we're trying to achieve, who won't ever give up. ... It's the whole thing."

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