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In my business as a relationship coach, I deal a lot with affairs and trying to repair the damage caused by an extra-marital relationship. It is a difficult thing to recover from, and many marriages don't survive. The best way to overcome the pain and suffering caused from an affair is, first and foremost, to avoid the affair all together. Here are some tips to help affair-proof your relationship.
Prioritize Your Marriage…Your Spouse Must come first—Connect Daily
• Don't take your spouse for granted.
• Talk about your commitment to each other.
• Find time to be together every day.
• The come first even before kids or work!!!!
• Date nights, the key isn't time only…but connection.
• 73% of men and 42% of women who have extramarital affairs meet their partners at work.
• Work in groups.
• Don't hang out with just one person…especially of the opposite sex.
• Avoid talking about your personal life and feelings…especially about your marriage.
• Limit your time online.
• Avoid chat rooms designed for meeting people.
• Avoid discussing personal issues.
• Emotional infidelity is just as big of a deal as physical infidelity.
Set up boundaries
• With your spouse, discuss together what the boundaries should be.
• Make sure you'd be comfortable with your partner hearing everything you're talking about.
• Dr. Shirley Glass's 3 signs that your relationship has crossed from friendship to potential infidelity.
o 1. Emotional intimacy
o 2. Sexual Tension
o 3. Secrecy
As a general rule, and emotionally and sexually satisfied partner doesn't wander.
• Focus on wooing your partner
• Win their love daily…Daily Special
• Add variety to life…find different ways to show them you love them.
• Take turns initiating intimacy.
• Be interested in talking and touching.
Learn Communication and Conflict Resolution Skills
• Take the time and make the effort to learn communication and conflict resolutions skills.
• Sometimes our communication style drives our partner away to others.
Be the partner that your partner needs you to be.