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Southern belle smiles with a bite


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With all that Ya-Ya Sisterhood/Steel Magnolia/Sweet Potato Queen baggage, Southern dames clearly have cornered the market on feisty, feminine charm. And don't forget those alpha belles, Scarlett O'Hara and Daisy Duke.

North Carolina humor writer Celia Rivenbark offers up a sweetly sour antidote to all this Dixie corn syrup with Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank: And Other Words of Delicate Southern Wisdom.

Her approach in this collection of essays is to dish out what Southern women really think and say when they're not performing that soft syllable grit 'n' grace routine.

A newspaper columnist, Rivenbark uses everyday life as her material.

Think Dave Barry with a female point of view on topics such as carpool Nazis, celebs, family life, reality TV, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Krispy Kreme doughnuts and the South.

Rivenbark can be very funny. And coarse. If bad language offends you, this is not your book. Of course, the title is a tip-off.

Among her targets:

*Disney World. When a pal suggests Rivenbark could save money by renting a cabin instead of staying at an Orlando hotel, the author replies, "I'd rather have a threesome with Chip 'n Dale than cook on vacation."

*Girls clothing. She asks of the style she calls Lil Skank, "Who decided that my six-year-old should dress like a Vegas showgirl? And one with an abundance of anger issues at that?"

*Starbucks. "What the hell is a barista? This is America, you idiots, call them what they are: counter help."

Rivenbark probably would drive Miss Daisy right off the road, but others just might relish her sass.

Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank: And Other Words of Delicate Southern Wisdom

By Celia Rivenbark

St. Martin's Press, 262 pp., $19.95

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© Copyright 2006 USA TODAY, a division of Gannett Co. Inc.

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