Dad’s are great for a lot of things, like their example of hard work, or their ability to fix anything, or their propensity for wanting to grill whatever’s in the refrigerator. But most of all, a dad’s humor could be his most distinguishing trait, highlighted by an ability to provoke eye rolls, groans, and guffaws for those they love.
What is a dad joke, you ask? According to Merriam-Webster, a dad joke is defined as "a wholesome joke of the type said to be told by fathers with a punchline that is often an obvious or predictable pun or play on words and usually judged to be endearingly corny or unfunny."
Dictionary.com is slightly less kind in defining them as "a joke so corny or lame that only a tragically unhip dad would think it's funny." Ouch.
Whether they’re funny or not, the joy that comes from the collective groans of his family is the reward that keeps dads telling dad jokes.
In recognition of the upcoming Father’s Day, here are some of the internet’s best dad jokes to try out on your family. Note: most of these jokes were voted as the top dad jokes on Reddit, as compiled by Buzzfeed.
While backing out of the driveway…
Dad putting the car in reverse.
Dad: "Ahh, this takes me back."
Undoubtedly, the eye-rolling from the back seat will be nearly tangible.
Dad: "Nice shirt, is that felt?"
Not Dad: "No."
Dad: *reaches over and touches sleeve* "It is now!"
Your style-conscious son or daughter will be sure to love this one.
At the park with my girls: "Dad, can we go play?"
Dad: "Sure, just stay away from those trees over there."
Girls: "Umm...OK, why?"
Dad: "I don't know...they look a little shady to me."
Hey, dads are just looking out for their kids.
Herd of cows
Dad: "Look at that flock of cows over there."
Kids: "A HERD of cows."
Dad: "Of course I heard of cows, there is a flock of them right over there."
Har-hars, for sure.
When I'm at a restaurant and the waitress says: "Do you wanna box for that?"
I always reply with: "No, but I'll wrestle you for it."
Your kids will never be more embarrassed to be seen at a restaurant with you.
Host at a restaurant: "Do you have reservations?"
Dad: "Yeah, but I think we’ll still eat here."
Ok, maybe your kids will be more embarrassed at this one.
An owl among us
Dad: "Someone among us is an owl."
Not dad: "Who?"
Dad: *narrows eyes suspiciously*
This joke is...wait for it...a hoot!
Milk in the bag
"Would you like the milk in the bag?"
Dad: "No thanks, you can keep it in the carton."
If grocery shopping wasn’t a hit with your kids before, it will be now.
Dad at breakfast: "I’ll have bacon and eggs, please."
Waiter: "How do you like your eggs?"
Dad: "I don’t know, I haven’t gotten them yet!"
Again, the eye rolls are all but guaranteed.
"I love my furniture. My recliner and I go way back."
Made only better by reclining as you say it.
Gym or James?
"I haven't been to the gym in so long I've gone back to calling it James."
After this joke, your kids will be begging you to spend more time at the gym, er, James.
"A magician was walking down the street. Then, he turned into a grocery store."
For added effect, try wearing a top hat for this one.
Walking into a bar
"Three guys walked into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it."
The age-old bar joke. Never gets old.
Elephants in hiding
"You know why you never see an elephant hiding in a tree? Because they’re very good at it."
Save this one for the next family zoo day.
"What do you call an illegally parked frog? Toad."
Now might be a good opportunity to learn the difference between frogs and toads. See, a learning moment came from a dad joke!
"If a child doesn't want to take a nap, are they guilty of resisting a rest?"
An honest question asked by sleep-deprived parents of small children.
"Are you feeling cold? Sit in the corner, it is 90 degrees."
Use for maximum effect during your kid’s math homework.
"You know Orion’s Belt? Big waist of space, huh? Didn’t you like that joke? That’s okay...it’s only got 3 stars."
Then take them outside, look at Orion’s Belt, and repeat the joke!
Dad: "Did you know that the people living nearby actually can't be buried in that cemetery."
Dad: "Because they're not dead yet."
Just dying to get in
"Why do graveyards have gates? Because people are dying to get in."
Losing your roof
"I lost 25% of my roof last night...oof."
"Someone broke in last night and stole all my antidepressants. I hope they’re happy."
"A rancher counted 48 cows on his property, but when he rounded them up he had 50."
Harry Potter and the hill
"What's Harry Potter's favorite way to get down a hill?"
Making dad laugh
"I tell dad jokes. Sometimes he laughs."
Lame or not, your kids will be endeared to your good-natured humor. Try these jokes out and see how they go. If your kids don’t like them, maybe your kid’s friends will. Worth a shot!