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SHEBOYGAN, Wis. (AP) — Cori Salchert, of Sheboygan, sits on a hospital bed parked in the middle of her living room, stroking the peach fuzz on top of her newly adopted son's head. One-year-old Charlie is at ease in his mother's arms, drifting off to the hum of his ventilator and other equipment in the room.
Cori shakes her head at the surrealism of it all.
"The crazy thing is that kiddos with a lot of equipment were something that I never wanted to do," she told Action Reporter Media (http://shebpr.es/1Rj4Sx5 ). "I was scared to death that I would accidentally hurt them."
In fact, while they always liked the idea, serving as foster and adoptive parents did not seem feasible for Cori and her husband, Mark, a few years ago because both were working full time. The couple also already had eight biological children.
Cori had a passion for helping families through difficult times as a registered nurse and a perinatal bereavement specialist of the Hope After Loss Organization. The organization helps families cope with the loss of a pregnancy or newborn child. If parents were too overwhelmed with emotion to hold their baby whose pulse was waning, Cori would cradle the child so "no one had to die alone."
While her work was fulfilling, it often exposed her to what she calls "hospice babies," or infants who had a life-limiting diagnosis and whose parents had given up guardianship because of the situation.
Cori said many of these babies spend their short lives in a bassinet in the corner of a hospital, perhaps never even being held if they are tube fed and do not need to be removed from the crib.
"There was no judgment on my part that the parents should just be able to deal with the circumstances," Cori said. "But I thought, 'Wow, I would really like to take those kiddos and care for them.'"
About five years ago, Cori was struck with an autoimmune disorder that caused gastrointestinal distress and required multiple surgeries that led to further complications. The symptoms of Cori's illness left her without a job and feeling hopeless.
"My prayer at that time was asking how God could possibly use this for good," Cori said.
As fate would have it, Cori's circumstances opened up the time for her to pursue the Salcherts' dream of becoming foster parents to hospice infants. They connected with Children's Hospital of Wisconsin's treatment foster care program, which matches families with children who have significant to severe behavioral or medical challenges.
The Salcherts brought home Emmalynn in August 2012. She did not have the left or right hemispheres of her brain, only the brain stem. She lived 50 days. Emmalynn passed away tucked into Cori's fuzzy green robe "like a kangaroo" while foster mother and daughter sat alone at the kitchen table one night.
"Emmalynn lived more in 50 days than most people do in a lifetime," Cori said.
The Salcherts' next foster child was Jayden, who was able to overcome his medical challenges to become a thriving toddler. He was ultimately adopted by a cousin of his biological parents.
With Emmalynn's passing and Jayden leaving the home, the Salcherts were heartbroken. Cori recalls turning to Mark and saying she was done with treatment foster care, but her husband encouraged her that "this is what she was meant to do."
The Salcherts believe it is important to involve children living in the home with decisions about foster care, so they rounded up the gang.
Cori asked, "Are you all ready to do this again?" She assured them it was OK if the answer was "no."
But the Salcherts were met with a resounding, "Yes." Mary Elisabeth, one of the Salcherts' daughters, even piped up, "Mom, what if some kid really needs us and you're just sitting here with a broken heart?"
They called their social worker and were matched with Charlie a week later. The family was grateful for the hospitality of the Ronald McDonald House in Milwaukee while the Salcherts began learning how to care for the baby.
Charlie has hypoxic ischemic brain encephalopathy, which means he experiences neurological impairments as a result of a lack of oxygen. He is tracheostomy, ventilator and tube feeding dependent, among other medical challenges.
The first time Cori had to start working with Charlie's tubes, she broke down sobbing over his crib in front of the nurse training her, overwhelmed with the fact that the little boy would not be able to breathe and could suffer if she hesitated or made one wrong move.
"But, God told me we're going to kick this fear in the butt," Cori said. "It's OK to be afraid, but never let fear cripple your life."
It did not take long for the Salchert family to make Charlie's care a part of the routine at their house. He was adopted by the family on Dec. 18.
But, while Charlie has brought the Salcherts much joy, Cori is quick to point out that the family is not perfect, and she "isn't exactly supermom."
Her children have cried when she was forced to split time between hospital visits and birthday parties because Charlie was having a rough patch. She holds up a pair of her teenage son's boots, showing how the insides are tattered and must be digging into his heel, and she only just discovered it.
Like most families, the Salcherts are still improving communication with each other about their needs every day. But overall, the happy moments always come on the heels of a setback for Charlie.
Charlie's older sisters love to climb into his bed and cuddle or watch movies. The family enjoys taking walks together in the summer and invested in a stylish pair of shades for Charlie to wear in the sun.
In addition, the Sheboygan Fire Department made Charlie an honorary fireman, and the Salcherts' church, Crossroads, is always there to support them.
Mark said Charlie "really brings out the nobler parts of a community" when others rally around him.
Nevertheless, the Salcherts have chosen not to ignore the reality of Charlie's life-limiting diagnosis.
"He will die; there's no changing that," Cori said, brushing away a tear. "But, we can make a difference in how he lives, and the difference for Charlie is that he will be loved before he dies."
The Salcherts have clung to their faith for strength and comfort in raising Charlie and past treatment foster children.
Cori said she believes Charlie will be able to "eat without a tube in heaven, and it will be the very best food."
The family has already spoken with funeral directors and plans to send off balloons at his future burial to "symbolize the setting free of Charlie's soul" from the confines of his medical challenges.
When people ask Mark why his family has chosen to care for children with a life-limiting diagnosis and endure the emotions that come with such a situation, he tells them, "God is love, and He loves this little boy, and He loves us to love him. Charlie is truly an amazing individual; he's made us richer — more alive, in a sense."
Cori strokes Charlie's tiny hand while cradling him in her arms.
"These children need nurses, but the overarching thing is, they need moms," she said. "Too many people never do anything because they can't do everything and can't save everyone. For me, even though I can't help every child, I'm happy to make a difference in the lives of a few."
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