Estimated read time: 2-3 minutes
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Like the rest of the KSL News Staff, my job consists of a lot of computer time as I write and rewrite the news people hear everyday. Like my colleaugues, I use digital recorders, mp3 players and several other electronic gadgets to try and take listeners to the scene of the latest news event. But unlike my colleagues, I get to have all the fun by myself, with only the glare of a computer monitor and the fatigue of the late night hour to keep me company. So, I have found some very high tech equipment to help me fight off the dreaded ZZZZZ monster.
My first piece of equipment is a good solid hit of what a friend of mine calls liquid life. For me that’s a liter bottle of Diet Pepsi. But after 7 years working the hours when normal people are face first in a pillow, this weapon has gotten considerably dull. Oh, it’s good as long as I’m sipping, but as soon as the bottle is empty, the “liquid life” begins wearing off, leaving at the monster’s mercy.
Next I turn to an impressive array of little munchies. I’ve eaten pretty much every form of raw sugar available to man during my tenure at the KSL Overnight controls. But this too has it’s drawbacks (or should I say draw ‘outs’) as the belt slips another notch toward the end of it’s length.
After there’s enough sugar in my system to make an elephant bounce off the walls, I turn to another little jewel of a weapon. My handy dandy squirt bottle. Four or Five quick shots to the face, and it’s back to work – for a little while anyway.
Now it’s about 4:30, and the body is doing it’s best to shut down – just like it’s supposed to, but I’ve got one more real good solid weapon up my sleeve. Feeling the ZZZZZ monster make it’s most desperate assault, I reach around and KERSMACK, give my face a good solid slap! That’s usually good for a few more minutes of wakeful bliss.
And then (after repeated squirts and slaps,) it’s 7:00 AM, and time to head home where my little boys are sure to be bouncing on the beds, and banging the pots, and generally being boys. But ya know what? That’s ok! ‘cause they’re little boys, and for at least a couple hours, the ZZZZZ monster has a pretty tight hold on my eye-lids, and not even a small explosion can stir me from his blissful grasp.