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I'm really getting tired of all of the disclaimers and apologies that are necessary when reviewing so much of the fare out of Hollywood these days. The new movie, "The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard" is yet another.
Jeremy Piven stars as Don Ready, the leader of a team of mercenary car salesmen who swoop in on troubled dealerships and employ any means imaginable to blow the cars off the lot. The dealership in question is owned by Ben Selleck - played by James Brolin. If the big Fouth of July sale isn't successful, the multi-generational business is toast.
As preparations are underway, Don and his dubious team get to know the Selleck family, and could it be that the hardened Don is actually falling for Selleck's lovely daughter, Ivy?
But wait, there's more. Something terrible happened to our band of mercenaries in Albuquerque that haunts them still. Oh, and this is a great sideline plot -- Babs has the hots for Selleck's 10-year-old son who has a gland problem and looks much older.
Believe it or not, I'm just scratching the surface of weirdness. Not only is the plot ridiculous, it's not even clever. There are some funny bits, but most of the laughs are cheap, the film is sexually laden, the language is pervasive, and -- well, the list goes on.
Just 1 ½ stars for "The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard" and it's rated R.