Estimated read time: 1-2 minutes
PIZZA BEACH — I get a lot of flack for this, but pizza is delightful, regardless of where it comes from.
Are there levels of pizza quality? Without a doubt. I appreciate that an authentic pizza made in Napoli in a 500-year-old oven is higher quality and more delicious than the square Totino's pizza I made in my 50-year-old gas oven on a lonely Tuesday. But guess what, I'm still going to enjoy that Totino's pizza as it sits on a plate atop my chest as I sink into my sofa playing XBox and burn the top of my mouth because I'm too impatient to let the quadrangular pie cool off from nuclear to edible.
I guess I'm trying to say that being cozy as I eat pizza — any pizza — is my dream. I'm a simple man with simple tastes. I don't need money to be happy; I just need a couple of bucks for Totino's pizza and a comfy spot to find bliss. That's why I relate to this video so much; like more than should be acceptable for a human adult.
This is Bluenjy the Frenchie, a French bulldog obviously living out my dream. Bluenjy is buried in the sand and looks like the epitome of comfort. Now, send this moment into the stratosphere of delightfulness. Bluenjy is handed a piece of pizza, looks like a Totino's to me, and starts living his best life.
This is an excellent reminder that when things get stressful or hectic, just be like Bluenjy; find a cozy place, a nice slice, and leave your trouble behind. To make it perfect, however, wait a moment or two to avoid third-degree burns on the roof of your mouth.