Estimated read time: 2-3 minutes
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THE HIGHWAY — What can I really say about this video? I mean, it's a giant anaconda meandering across a highway in Brazil, and I really don't know how I feel about it. I'm at a real crossroads here. (Pause for chuckles)
First off, I'm not a big snake fan. Not saying I'm not a fan of big snakes, just saying I'm not a fan of snakes in a big way. I should give these reptiles more credit, but something about them just doesn't sit right.
It probably doesn't help that my mother is so deathly afraid of snakes that she once screamed in our living room, nearly giving my brother and I a heart attack, all because she saw a picture of a snake in a magazine. That kind of stuff sticks with you.
It may also be because I watched "Raiders of the Lost Ark" about 15 million times as a kid and had recurring nightmares of being trapped in an underground room with hundreds of snakes.
What I'm trying to say is snakes aren't my thing, but this video is pretty incredible.
A giant anaconda in Brazil was trying to cross a busy highway, and people hopped out of their cars to stop traffic and help the snake. There were moments when the hypnotic movement of the sinewy body as it labored across the pavement.
I felt a false sense of security as the snake seemed to be appreciative of the human help. Then it raised its head and climbed the middle divider and I screamed for just a moment. Soon, it was back on the ground, continuing its clamoring trek across the road.
I started thinking this giant snake was actually OK, but when it started heading for that black car (like it didn't like the way the vehicle approached) my heart stopped for a brief second and my mind showed me the snake devouring the compact hatchback.
Eventually, the anaconda kept moving along to the opposite shoulder and seemed to be a docile creature just minding its own business. Finally, it slurked into the tall grass — and my fear cortex imploded. That giant, constricting reptile just vanished into the grass and could be absolutely anywhere. I know we don't have anacondas on this continent, but there are snakes and grass around these parts, and I'm not sure I'm ever going to go frolicking in the meadow any time soon.
I'm sure none of you had these emotions as you watched the video, but I need a warm cup of cider, a cozy blanket, and a small fortune worth of therapy to get over this video and feel safe again.
