Have You Seen This? A 'beary' upsetting wake-up call

Estimated read time: 2-3 minutes

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SLEEPY TOWN — Alarm clocks are torture devices sent to us from purgatory.

That high-pitched, default screeching is far more annoying than it has the right to be. No sound has ever filled me with such pure, unadulterated rage at being alive and, more immediately, awake.

Why don’t I change my alarm tone from that evil hell screech, you ask? I could replace it with my favorite tunes, but after a few weeks, it would be me loathing them, too.

It takes a lot to make me despise Mariah Carey, but I’ll fight anyone and anything that wakes me up in the morning.

The only reason we tolerate alarm clocks on this plane of existence is the more intimidating wake-up calls without them. Take this video, for example.

Sleeping uncovered on a beach in Kamchatsky, Russia, is dangerous enough, but imagine that the beach is also bear territory. That’s the stuff of nightmares, which is incidentally what these two men are likely going to have for a while.

The bear cub creeps up like a dark denizen from the abyss. He is silent, capable and, if we’re honest, a little clumsy as he sneaks up and — Ew! — smells the first man’s shoeless feet.

It’s only when the cub steps onto the man’s leg that he finally awakes and freaks out in a manner usually reserved for unwanted spiders crawling on one’s thigh. Not that I’m shaming him for this reaction, though, because none of us could handle this "beary" well.

The man scrambles to his feet, pointing and shouting as the bear cub scurries a dozen feet away. Impressively, his friend is still dead to the world for several more seconds before he too jumps up, surprised.

Then, like dazed, bleary-eyed morning adventurers, both men and bears cautiously walk away from each other, unsure how to process what just happened.

For some people, bears might be nature’s own wake-up call. But for me, I’ll stick with my annoying alarm clock.