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GALESBURG, Ill. (AP) — Rebecca Williams was roughly 10 years clean and sober when her life changed.
"It was 2012 and my daughter's youngest baby was two weeks old and it was decided all my grandbabies had to come live with me," the 49-year-old said. "Right now they are 12, 9, 7 and 2.
"It was motherhood all over I again. I didn't know how I was going to handle it. I needed some help."
Denise Carter faced a similar challenge. The 35-year-old was playing the role of single mom to a pair of 18-year-olds, as well as children ages 15, 11, 9 and 7.
"I was in a mess," Carter said. "I was in a mess and I didn't know what to do with all those different attitudes.
"I just didn't know how to parent sometimes. I didn't know how to speak to my children. I didn't know how to get my children to do what I asked them to do.
"I just needed some support. And some help."
Williams and Carter found both help and support in the Lutheran Social Services Single-Parent Program. And they found a friend in Linda Crandall.
Not Alone
Crandall found her calling a little over a decade ago when she became the director of the Single-Parent Program serving Knox and Warren counties.
The road she followed to the work wasn't always straight and clear.
Long before landing in Lutheran Social Services' offices on North Kellogg Street, she first earned a bachelor's degree in business management.
"But I worked a lot with youth in my church and I was very interested in giving back," she said. "I am a Christian, so my first thought was the chaplaincy.
"I ended up with a master's of arts and religion, with an emphasis on counseling. I came back to this area and I found this position."
The goal of the Single-Parent Program is multi-faceted and geared to each individual family Crandall helps.
"The overall goal is help the clients become self-sufficient," Crandall explained. "But each parent comes to us with a unique set of challenges and needs.
"Common among the people who enter into the program is a the need to put them in contact with local and state resources. We often have single parents referred to us. Those referrals can come from a lot of places: Safe Harbor, the police, a hospital or doctor, a friend of the client, the Department of Children and Family Services."
The Single-Parent Program was established in 1978, funded in part by the state. The Lutheran Social Services' Single-Parent Program has served 27 parents and 59 children since July 1, the start of the agency's fiscal year.
Last year, the Single-Parent Program served 37 parents and 79 children. The program is also funded by the Knox County and Warren County chapters of the United Way.
The Single-Parent Program puts clients in touch with local, state and federal resources like food stamps or local food pantries, medical and housing assistance and legal assistance. It is a short-term program that runs a year.
Enrollment starts with a home visit.
"It's not a visit to judge anyone or evaluate anything," Crandall said. "It's to get a feel for the family and what the needs may be. Every family is different. Every parent has unique challenges.
"We try to get to the parent as an individual and the children involved."
That is just one way the program goes way beyond the basics offered by state and local government programs. Crandall's first step includes showing the single parent he or she is not alone.
"We also try to serve the clients' basic social and emotional needs," Crandall said. "So we have workshops here in the offices. Those are geared toward improving parenting skills and acquiring job skills.
"And we encourage our clients to attend other workshops locally — everything from moms support groups and reading programs at the library to helping them find a church or earning your GED. We try to plug people into their community."
In the end, a friend
Carter found the Single-Parent Program through a friend.
"We were sitting around one day and I was talking about all the trouble I was having," Carter said. "I was frustrated — at the end of it, you know? And this friend told me about Linda and how much she tries to help people."
Williams came to the program another way.
"I live out at the McKnight (public housing complex) and I would see this lady coming and going from houses and I just wondered who she was," Williams said. "One day after she left I went over and asked my neighbor 'Who was that woman?'
"And my neighbor told me, 'That's Linda and she helps me.' And so the next time Linda came to visit my neighbor I went over and asked about the program."
Carter and Williams have been in the program for almost a year. Both said it has made a "big difference" in their lives.
Carter was enrolled for eight months in program when she found out a son's girlfriend was having his baby.
"The girl was 16 years old at the time and had her baby in Chicago," Carter explained. "Then her family basically threw her out. She had nowhere to go, so of course I had to take her in. I was looking at six of my own kids and a young woman and a grandchild."
Crandall stepped in and helped Carter get the young woman enrolled in school and provided support for the new grandmother.
"I needed help with my own children — and I needed even more help," Carter said. "I needed support. Sometimes it was just as simple as calling Linda up and inviting her over to just talk with me. I feel I'm talking to someone who knows me and my situation."
Crandall stressed the vast majority of single parents are good moms and dads.
"Most often they just need support," Crandall explained. "There are those parents who live in out community who don't have the support of an extended family or friends who can help.
"Many parents need to plug into resources to help with things like education or housing. But they also just need someone to listen. Someone to suggest strategies. They come because they love their family and need encouragement."
Williams said being a parent all over again was yet another challenge in a life filled with them.
"I went to prison for 10 years — for drug possession," she said. "I had deep problems with cocaine and alcohol. I spent most of my time in the Whiting Work-Release Program and I got myself clean. But it was because I had help.
"I mean, when I went in I spent eight months in straight-jacket. But when I first went in this lady came to me every day and read from a book. I liked the book and found out it was from Narcotics Anonymous."
Williams knew she would need help raising another set of children.
"It's a different generation now," she said. "My 7-year-old grandson came to me and he was climbing the walls. It was ridiculous. I had to take all the silverware out of the house and we had to eat with plastic. With the help of Linda and the program, I got him to a doctor and he was diagnosed with ADHD. We found doctors and psychiatrists. I found the Mom2Mom Program. I got my GED.
"Now sometimes I call Linda just to see how she's doing. She does so much for so many people."
Crandall explained how parents make changes.
"We set goals. We generally set them every month and they are specific goals aimed at addressing specific problems," she said. "Rebecca (Williams) and Denise (Carter) are good mothers. They were good mothers before they came into the program,
"Denise needed support and someone to talk to. Rebecca needed to keep moving forward. When we first talked about continuing her education, she just lit up. I think both mothers are thriving. I think their kids are more involved in activities. It was just a matter of finding support."
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Source: The (Galesburg) Register-Mail, http://bit.ly/1zdztT2
This is an Illinois Exchange story shared by The (Galesburg) Register-Mail.
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