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The Christmas season always encourages more loving thoughts – at least for a few weeks. I’d like to share an idea that might make your “Christmas attitude change” last a little longer.
I encourage you to take a closer look at the story of Christ’s birth this year. Even if you are not religious, there was an important message delivered that night in Bethlehem, which you may have missed.
The moment Christ was born the angels appeared to shepherds watching their flocks by night. The angels delivered this often overlooked message of Christmas in the first two words they said.
They said, “Fear not… For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord.”
What you may have missed are these words: “Fear not.”
It is only when you have no fear that the best you can show up. Love happens when you stop worrying about proving your value and focus on edifying others instead.
I used to think the angels said “Fear not” because the appearance of Heavenly personages may have startled the poor shepherds and they were worried about frightening them — but now I think the words have deeper meaning.
Our journey through mortality is a scary endeavor. Before the Savior's birth and subsequent sacrifice on the cross, it was also a journey without hope. We had no hope of returning to live with God. Life was a testing center and even one mistake meant failing the test.
We had much to fear.
The angels, because they understood this concept, knew that Christ’s birth marked the end of that fear. Mankind was now safe. Christ and his sacrifice would change life from a testing center into a classroom. Now we could approach life without the fear of failing.
Think about what that means.
How would your life be different if you had no fear?
Because of Christ, your journey is now a safe one. When you make a mistake (which happens daily), you can repent and try again. You can keep repenting, trying, learning and growing throughout your life with no fear about not making the grade. Your life is a classroom.
Now, you can focus on the lessons each experience is here to teach you and know your value is not on the line. You have nothing to fear about not being good enough. You are good enough right now, through Christ.
Even if you don't believe in Jesus Christ, this can completely change your attitude toward every part of your life because, as it is, you spend way too much time worrying about not being good enough.
All of your immature or selfish behavior is tied to this fear. This fear is the reason you lose your temper, say unkind things or decide to protect yourself instead of serving someone else. Fear is involved in all of your problems.
When you are afraid you’re not good enough, your focus is on you. You are worried about getting love and validation. This insecurity is a selfish place to live from. In this state you cannot build healthy relationships because you can’t really focus on other people.
If your marriage is struggling, fear is most likely the problem. Both parties may be focused on getting love instead of giving it. If your marriage is drowning in fear, there can be no love.
You cannot have love and fear at the same time. They are opposites. You can either feel scared and focus on you, or you can feel safe and focus on others. It’s an either/or situation.
Who do you want to be? A scared person or a loving one?
It is only when you have no fear that the best you can show up. In a state of no fear, you can genuinely love and serve other people. Love happens when you stop worrying about proving your value and focus on edifying others instead.
My wish for you this Christmas is that you will accept Christ and do as the angels said and “fear not.”
Go forward into this New Year with confidence and peace. You have nothing to fear.
Your value is infinite and absolute. You don’t need attention or validation from others. You know who you are. Focus on giving love and validation to others and edify people wherever you go instead.
Stop trying to earn your value through your appearance, your work or the things you own. These are not who you are. Focus on being the love in every room instead. Your love for other people is who you are.
Everywhere you go, look for opportunities for random acts of kindness. Make this year the year you lead with love. Let this Christmas message change your attitude all year long.
This one change could change your life.
Kimberly Giles is the founder and president of www.ldslifecoaching.com and www.claritypointcoaching.com. She is a sought after life coach and speaker. Watch her LIFEadvice segments on KSL TV Monday mornings at 6:15am