Busy Mother Memory Loss: Do you have it too?

SALT LAKE CITY — I glanced at the clock and for once we had an extra minute to spare. Carpool mornings rarely run smoothly.

Everyone was buckled in and backpacks were accounted for. I pulled out of the driveway and headed through the neighborhood on our way to the elementary school. Just then I heard panic from the backseat.

“Mom! You forgot it’s picture day!”

Yep, sure enough I had. It was class picture day.

I glanced in the rear view mirror and saw my daughter’s beautiful blue eyes looking at me with such worry. She was mostly concerned she didn’t have the envelope of money she’d need to turn in to her teacher. I was concerned about her blonde frizzy hair, kinky from her braid the day before. I could solve the money problem. Fixing a hair-do as I drive a minivan is not possible.

I dropped the kids off, hopped out of the van and did the best I could to tame the kinks. I dabbed a little lip balm on her lips and sent her on her way. It’s a good thing all she has to do to look beautiful is smile.

It seems forgetfulness is a reoccurring theme in my life right now. And I have no excuse for it. I can’t blame my brain fogginess on pregnancy or a bump to the head. Unless maybe being a busy mother is excuse enough?

All of my children are victims of my absentmindedness.

Last month my 4-year-old was invited to a superhero birthday party. He was so excited. Birthday parties make the world go round, at least when you are 4.

He even sent the birthday boy a note in the mail, letting him now how thrilled he was to be invited. (The note looked a lot more like a scrap piece of paper with random crayon letters, but we mailed it anyway.)

The party was on a Saturday afternoon, only days after my class-picture-day memory lapse. With two early morning soccer games and yard work, I forgot all about the party. When my son reminded me, it was too late. He was crushed. I held him while he cried himself to sleep.

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I wish the stories ended there, but they don’t. When I took my twins to the allergist, I forgot the huge pack of papers the medical office sent me ahead of time to fill out and bring in. Based on the nasty looks the receptionist gave me, it was a grave mistake.

I put dinner in the crock pot but forgot to turn it on.

I forgot to cycle the laundry and it went sour.

I forgot that we needed diapers — with two toddlers you should never forget diapers.

I have both a wall calendar and a smartphone to record things that need remembering. My calendar on my computer actually syncs to my phone. If I tell it to, it will even sound an alarm. I guess a smartphone is only as smart as it’s user.

Maybe I need to use my phone more efficiently or buy some Post-it notes. But, as it turns out, I’m a pretty descent mother. I just suffer from Busy Mother Memory Loss, which makes for a terrible personal secretary. How long before a 4-year-old can keep track of his own schedule? He probably needs to learn the days of the week first.

I do remember hugs and kisses, tickles and story time. Most of the time I remember soccer games, dance lessons and dentist appointments. Maybe those things are more important. Maybe — just maybe — my children will forget all the times I forgot.

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*Nicole and her husband are raising four children, 7 years and younger, including twin boys. All of them growing up way to fast. She is a communication consultant, writer and public speaker. Read more from Nicole at www.MyEverthingElse.com.**

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