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Pregnancy: Why women wait to tell

By Arianne Brown, KSL.com Contributor | Posted - May 12th, 2013 @ 8:02pm



SALT LAKE CITY — At the sight of those “two pink lines” of a home pregnancy test, whether you are a first-time mother or not, there are so many wonderful feelings that are immediately present. There are feelings of happiness, excitement and relief, to name a few.

The feeling I most always have is the urge to tell the world, but many women don't. Instead, they wait days, weeks and even months to share the wonderful news that they are going to have a child.

Why is this? Why do women wait to tell?

I asked a few of my friends this question. Here are some of their reasons why:

1. The longer you wait, the less time you are "pregnant."

If you tell everyone the news right when you find out — which is usually between four to six weeks along — it will be a long pregnancy. You will have eight months of: “How far along are you?” “When is your due date?” “Are you still pregnant?” “You still haven't had that baby?”

Conversely, if you wait until you are a bit further along, even though you may have known for a while, the (public) pregnancy will be much shorter, making the overall time seem shorter as well.

2. Some may feel ashamed, embarrassed or judged.

Depending on the circumstances surrounding your pregnancy, whether it was “planned” or not, this is a real reason for many women to hide their pregnancy.

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Then, there is the mom who is “pregnant again.” There are always those who have opinions on how many children a woman should have. Rather than having people say things, many women decide to have the news remain private.

3. It's nobody's business and it should be on a "need-to-know" basis.

Many believe that if someone needs to know, you tell them; otherwise it is none of their business.

This becomes difficult when those who “need to know” are your other children (or in-laws). Once they know, the whole world (aka, those who don't need to know) now knows.

4. "What if I have a miscarriage?”

This last one is a very real and sensitive reason for far too many women. For many, the excitement of those two pink lines is immediately overshadowed by the fear of possibly losing another baby to miscarriage.

I know that feeling, as we lost what would have been our sixth child to miscarriage last November, which I wrote about in a separate article.

Whether you have had it happen once, many times, or if you've only known individuals who have gone through it, the fear is real. But waiting to tell "the world" may be the best thing for you to do.

However, I received a kind note from a woman who had experienced this many times. She said that the times she decided not to tell were the times she felt most alone. She said that having the comfort from friends and family in her time of struggle helped her to cope.

Deciding when to to tell your exciting news is a decision that only you can make. Whatever you decide to do, the news is good news. You are expecting a child; you will soon be a mother.


About the Author: Arianne Brown

Arianne Brown is a graduate from Southern Utah University, mother to five young kids and an avid runner. Contact her at ariannebrown1@gmail.com, go to he blog at runariran.wordpress.com or follow her on Twitter @arimom5.

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