Gay Mormon group asks for meeting with new church president

SALT LAKE CITY (AP) -- After decades of being judged or painfully dismissed by their church, a group of gay Mormons is seeking a peaceful reunion -- asking a new church president to meet and begin a conversation to change the way the church supports and counsels its gay members and their families.

The invitation from the group, Affirmation, was sent by overnight letter to President Thomas S. Monson on Feb. 6 -- three days after he assumed leadership of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints following the death of its previous president, Gordon B. Hinckley.

"Although there are many areas of hurt and disagreement that have separated us, there are many more areas on which we can find agreement, and in doing so, become a blessing in the lives of many of the Saints, both straight and gay," the organization's leaders wrote.

Such a meeting with Monson and his counselors -- a triumvirate known as the First Presidency -- would be unprecedented, said David W. Melson, the group's assistant executive director. Affirmation, with more than 2,000 gay, lesbian and transgender members, is not recognized by the church.

"This was something we've talked about for a while," Melson said. "With the death of President Hinckley and the installation of new church leadership, it seemed like the appropriate time."

In a church where family comes first, "that's not the way they've dealt with gay people," Melson said.

Church spokeswoman Kim Farah could not confirm receipt of the letter on Friday.

"Any correspondence with the First Presidency is private," she said.

Historically, the institutional church and its gay members have had an uneasy relationship. Church teachings consider homosexuality a sin and hold up traditional marriage as an institution ordained by God.

Like many religious groups, Latter-day Saints leaders have fumbled through their approach to gay members, at one time labeling homosexuality as a problem that required help.

Some gays were rejected by their families and excommunicated by the church. Some were counseled that marriage or intensive therapy programs would "cure" their homosexuality.

In the 1990s, the church was active politically in fighting same-sex marriage legislation nationwide. A church official also signed a 2006 letter from religious groups asking Congress for a marriage amendment to the U.S. Constitution.

More recently, church leaders have softened their position, drawing a distinction between the feelings or inclinations of same-gender attraction, as they call it, and actions.

"The sin is in yielding to temptation," said senior church Elder Dallin H. Oaks in an interview with a church public relations officer posted on the church Web site last year.

Hinckley, who died Jan. 27 at age 97, had also called on the church to reach out to gay members with compassion and love.

Despite those changes, a history of hurtful rhetoric leaves many gay Mormons with only suspicion and mistrust, Melson said.

"In some cases when the church has said things, they've done it with phrases that are either patronizing or insulting, showing that they don't understand what it means to be gay," said Melson, who lives in Washington, D.C. "They've talked about homosexuality as a problem or an illness. A lot of us don't see being gay as a problem. We see it as one of the greatest gifts that God has given us."

In addition, the church has failed to recognize gay partnerships, marriages or families and only celibate gays are allowed to maintain church callings.

Affirmation, a group founded in 1977 by closeted gay students at the church-owned Brigham Young University, hopes that conversation with the First Presidency can forge a better future by expanding the church's understanding and jointly looking for more effective, compassionate ways of addressing the concerns of gay, lesbian and transgender members.

Melson said that could prevent Mormon parents from kicking their gay children out of their homes and reduce the number of suicides among young gay men.

"I would like for us never again to have gay individuals, particularly our young people, being told that they are not welcome in the church they grew up in," he said.

Affirmation plans to repeat its invitation to Monson in six months, if no response is received, Melson said.

(Copyright 2008 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

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