Rebuilding Trust

Trust issues are a huge part of my relationship coaching practice. Trust insecurities affect a large majority of couples. As I see this time after time, one of the factors that continue to surface is forgiveness. Is rebuilding trust possible without forgiveness? I believe that it is practically impossible.

Rebuilding trust is one of the most difficult uphill battles in a marriage. There is no doubt that it is a lot of hard work. There is also no doubt that it can be done and the role of forgiveness is interwoven in that process.

In order to make any significant and meaningful change to a relationship both partners need to be dedicated to the relationship. Both partners need to be a part of the process and do their part of the work. It takes both partners working diligently in order to increase the connection and unity in their relationship.

This same principle applies in the process of rebuilding trust. When trust is broken, a relationship needs to be improved and strengthened. A deeper connection and increased unity needs to be established. The principle is no different than with a couple that doesn't have broken trust working to strengthen their relationship.

Having established that both partners need to work diligently, let's outline what duties each partner has in this process. The partner who has offended the relationship needs to truly apologize and become very transparent. A plan needs to be established according to the needs of the partner who has been hurt. For more explanation about these steps, listen to my podcast at the end of this blog.

What about the partner who has been hurt? What is his or her job? Their job is to forgive. It is a long and difficult road. No one says it's easy, but that is now their part of the equation to strengthening the relationship. Without their part, there is no equation and therefore no product. Likewise, there is no equation or product without the remorse and hard work of the offender. Forgiveness is an absolute necessity for any relationship to truly be restored and thrive after trust has been broken.

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