Estimated read time: 5-6 minutes
AMERICAN FORK — As Tanner Martin entered his front room on Feb. 16, tears of joy and sadness welled up in his eyes. There stood four of his professors from Utah Valley University with confetti in hand, and of course, his diploma.
Tears welled up in Tanner Martin's eyes as he hugged each professor. Those tears were met with more tears as the realization of what had been accomplished was coupled with a deep sadness for what is still to come.
At the young age of 29, Tanner Martin is in the thick of stage 4 colon cancer, which was diagnosed 3½ years ago. Nearly a year ago, he and his wife, Shay Martin, were hoping to have a baby before his battle put him in the hospital with serious infections.
Now, Tanner Martin fights on, even with a meager prognosis of months to live. He's trying to make the most of his time, even earning his diploma in February.
Being able to celebrate those moments in her husband's life are important, says the ever-loyal Shay Martin.
"Tanner walked at graduation last April, but he wasn't officially graduated because he had two classes left to finish," she explained. "Then, he was hospitalized for six months and was too sick to work on the classes."
Seeing her husband was so close to getting that official diploma, she decided to contact the school counselor to see if there was a way to get an honorary diploma, but soon found that there was something better: his actual diploma.
"The counselor was able to work with the provost and the department chair to get some classes that he had taken to apply to the last six credits that he needed, so that he could get an official bachelor's degree," Shay Martin said, adding it was a complete surprise to her husband.
He will forever be a UVU Wolverine.
–Todd Spencer, UVU
UVU professors Jeremy Boden, Julie Nelson and Todd Spencer were there to issue to degree. Spencer, who teaches Family Systems and Dynamics at the university, had kind words for his former student.
"Tanner represents the best of UVU," said Spencer. "In class, he was compassionate, intelligent and inquisitive. He is so loved by his classmates. It was incredible to see Tanner take a sincere interest in the other students' lives. He is a master at empathizing with others. It was incredible to watch him continue to love and serve others even while he was receiving chemo. During the course of the semester, we had several sensitive conversations exploring his hopes and fears, and during those conversations he never complained, was never negative, but always honest and optimistic. He is an incredible leader in and outside of the class. He is so loved by the faculty and students blessed to interact with him. I will always love Tanner."
"Awarding Tanner his diploma was one of the greatest professional and personal highlights," Spencer continued. "It was an honor to celebrate his efforts as a student and his example as a human. He absolutely earned his degree in every way. ... He will forever be a UVU Wolverine."
A bleak prognosis
Just weeks later, on March 1, the couple got news that Martin's cancer had spread beyond repair, giving him only months to live.
"Tanner had been hospitalized from July to early January because he kept getting sepsis, and during that time he wasn't able to get any treatment because he was too sick," his wife explained. "His cancer spread pretty significantly during that time, and his liver is failing due to the amount of cancer that's in his liver. Doctors are doing chemo to try to stop the growth of the cancer, but they won't be able to shrink it more than what it's at right now, and so his liver will just likely continue to get worse. … The doctors didn't give us a number, but just said that they were comfortable giving estimates in years, months, weeks or days — and Tanner has months."
Shay Martin said the news was very hard for both of them to hear, but they have been spending as much time as they can together while also looking toward the future.
"The news was pretty hard for Tanner to hear," she said. "He saw his therapist later that day and I think he felt some peace after that, but I would say it kind of ebbs and flows between acceptance and peace and then being scared. We've just been really intentional with our time and spending a lot of time together. We have been working with a death doula which has been actually really helpful."
As a mental health therapist, Shay Martin said, in situations like her husband's, working with an end-of-life therapist is so important.
"(As a society) we just don't prepare for death and it does the family and individual a lot of disservice," she said. "Tanner and I have been doing this for the past year, and it has been really helpful for us."
And while it doesn't look like he will realize his dream of becoming a father before he passes, Shay Martin said there is a chance she will be able to raise a future child of theirs.
"Tanner and I have been talking about still using the embryos after he's gone, which I'm planning on doing whether I'm single or married," she said.
Anyone wanting to follow updates on the Martins can follow @shaylynnright on Instagram.
