The secrets to a rock-solid marriage haven't changed. Here are 3 truths proven over the decades

SALT LAKE CITY — We talk about the latest research, studies and trends, but when it comes to marriage, the most impactful information doesn't change. It's the kind of truth that can really improve our families and relationships.

KSL Parenting Contributor Heather Johnson shared three rock-solid truths about marriage that have been proven over decades of research.

Love thrives in the ordinary.

We often assume lasting love comes in grand gestures, but Johnson said it's a lot simpler.

"Love thrives in the ordinary everyday connections," she explained. "The very small things that we can do with each other randomly on a Tuesday."

Johnson said one of the most effective ways to strengthen a marriage is connecting intentionally throughout the day.

"Make a commitment to connect with your spouse five times every day," she emphasized.

Those connections don't have to be big. A goodbye in person before work, a hug after coming home, a quick text saying "I'm thinking of you" all count. She emphasized that physical touch is an important way to connect.

"Always touching. Always," Johnson said. "If you pass your spouse in the kitchen, reach out and touch them."

It's not about the absence of conflict, it is about the presence of friendship.

It's common to think that a healthy marriage should have very little conflict.

"It isn't actually an absence of conflict, it's the presence of a friendship," she explained. "It isn't avoiding the conflict, it's making sure that we're building friendships."

A big part of that friendship comes through gratitude, something as simple as thanking a spouse for taking out the trash or making dinner. Johnson also emphasized avoiding blame.

"Making sure that when we do communicate and when we are repairing that we don't start conversations with blame," she explained.

Disconnection happens over time.

Johnson emphasized that relationships don't fall apart overnight.

"We don't just wake up one day and our marriage doesn't feel good, she said. "This happens in little, teeny, tiny ways."

The way to protect against disconnection, then, also comes through the small things.

"We want to make sure that we're recognizing that," she said. "The best way to do this is to be very intentional."

She suggested carving out 15 minutes per day for conversation with your spouse. Combined with the five daily connection points and physical affection, those conversations help keep couples close even during busy seasons of life.

This story was adapted from a TV broadcast script using artificial intelligence. Every story, including those adapted with AI, is reviewed by a human editor before publication to ensure that KSL's editorial standards are upheld.