The Beta Mom: Who she is and 5 characteristics of this parenting style

SALT LAKE CITY — We know the Tiger Mom, the Alpha Mom, but now there's a new mom on the block. KSL Parenting Contributor Heather Johnson introduced "The Beta Mom."

The Beta Mom is...

• Not About Perfection
• Easy Going
• Flexible
• Rejects Hyper-Scheduling
• Not Pressured to Do it All

Johnson said the Beta Mom is a departure from more intense parenting styles. Instead of worrying about perfection, she leans into flexibility and realism. "This Beta Mom is a complete switch from where we've been," she said. "They don't care what Pinterest looks like. Good enough is good enough." She explained that they're more willing to let go of some control and collaborate more. Instead of focusing on directing every outcome, the Beta Mom works alongside kids and responds to their emotional needs. Johnson explained that one of the biggest differences is how this mom defines success. Beta Moms aren't focused on maximizing every opportunity for their children. Instead they turn their attention toward emotional awareness and connection. "They're for sure not worried about optimizing a child," she emphasized. "They're much more in tune with what the emotions look like." That means allowing space for kids to feel, process and even step away from activities that aren't working for them. Johnson shared an example to explain how this plays out in daily life. If a teenager responds disrespectfully, an Alpha Mom might correct them immediately. A Beta Mom looks deeper first. "They're gonna recognize the tone," she said, "and think, 'You know what? I bet they had a long day.'" The response isn't to ignore the tone, but to address it later after they have created emotional understanding. That pause lets connection happen before the correction comes.

Why the Shift is Happening Now

The rise of the Beta Mom is a reaction to common parenting styles in recent years. The pressure to manage everything from schedules and emotions to outcomes has become too much. "An Alpha Mom is not sustainable," Johnson emphasized. "This feeling that moms have to manage everyone's emotions … it is too much." The Beta Mom approach is a relief from the constant intensity. But Johnson emphasized that this shift comes with its own challenges.

The Benefits and Risks of a Softer Approach

There are clear benefits to this style. Kids may feel more understood and supported in this environment. "There's more emotional connection … more flexibility," Johnson noted. She said there are still drawbacks if the pendulum swings too far. "We are not willing to have really hard conversations that we might need to have," she explained. In some cases, kids tend to take over control when structure is too loose. Johnson said balance is important with this parenting style.

The Problem With Parenting Trends

Rather than choosing one label over another, Johnson said to step back entirely. "Let go of what type of mom," she said. Trends change constantly, but effective parenting methods don't. She said that parenting should feel authentic, not forced. "Truth stays constant," Johnson emphasized. "It doesn't fluctuate according to what everyone else is doing."

The Three Pillars of Parenting

Instead of trying to find the right label, Johnson said there are three timeless parenting principles that are always trending.

• Warmth
• Structure
• Leadership

"Warmth is the emotional connection," Johnson explained. "Structure is making sure that there's boundaries … and leadership is us managing our own emotions." Together, these pillars build a balanced foundation. While all three matter, Johnson said warmth can help the others develop. Connection makes everything else easier. "Always err on warmth," she emphasized. "If you create that connection … then the structure and the leadership are so well‑received."

Kids are more open to guidance when they feel understood. That doesn't mean abandoning rules, it means leading with the relationship.

This story was adapted from a TV broadcast script using artificial intelligence. Every story, including those adapted with AI, is reviewed by a human editor before publication to ensure that KSL's editorial standards are upheld.