Intimacy in Marriage

Marriage is all about sharing. When you marry, you make the choice to spend your life with this another person, your spouse. One of the many benefits of marriage is the closeness and connection that you feel. If this is so important, why is it that down the road intimacy can become such a dividing issue? I believe that one answer to this question is our lack of understanding.

Men and women are different in so many ways. These differences come out loud and clear in the bedroom. One of the main things to realize is that intimacy has different meanings to different people. There are differences between men and women as well as differences in the way each individual feels loved.

Men bond through action. Women bond in communication. Thus the age-old argument of "You never want to talk vs. you never want to have sex." Both people want to feel the bond they have with each other. One isn't right or wrong. They just feel it in different ways. The solution is for both people to understand what their partner needs and then meet in the middle. Understanding the differences between men and women and knowing how your partner feels love is the key to maintaining a healthy sex life as well as the intimacy and closeness you feel together.

There are many things that get in the way of spending one-on-one time with each other. Being over-scheduled or over-worked is a sure fire way to smother a healthy sex life or even just your emotional connection. The remedy is to make a conscious choice to spend time together and to feed each other's emotional needs. A daily check-in is a great way to ensure that your connection remains strong. Schedule a time each day, like before you go to bed, to spend 10 to 20 minutes with each other talking and touching. This doesn't always mean sex. It means re-connecting and sharing with each other. This is one of the best ways I know to continually strengthen your relationship.

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