SALT LAKE CITY — The icy relationship between the two coaches of bitter rivals is no more, not with one calling the other a mentor and darned near speaking in reverential tones at the mere mention of his name.

It was no secret Utah’s Kyle Whittingham and BYU’s Bronco Mendenhall were not buddies during the 11 years each coached at their respective schools. The brief conversation on the field before the two teams played was about as deep as the pair went with each other.

Even charity wasn’t enough to bring the two together. The last two years neither coach participated in the annual Rivalry for Charity golf tournament that raises money for the National Kidney Foundation of Utah and Idaho.

But the tension between the rival programs evaporated when Mendenhall secured a $3.25 million annual payday to coach at Virginia and was replaced by Kalani Sitake, who spent a decade on Whittingham’s staff. Since leaving his position as defensive coordinator at Oregon State, Sitake has not hesitated to go public about the influence Whittingham has had on him.

Sitake, who joined Whittingham at the annual charity golf tournament this week, will be loyal to BYU while maintaining ties to the coach who is riding a five-game winning streak against the Cougars. For Whittingham’s part, which is a bit unusual given his fierce competitive nature, he’s like a big brother to Sitake.

“I have so much respect for Kyle, and am grateful for what I learned from him and the chance to coach with him,” Sitake told the Salt Lake Tribune.

“My relationship with Kyle will never change. It’s about people, not colors.”

Clearly, the rivalry has taken on a new tone.

Over the years, the Utah coaches had bristled at Mendenhall’s insistence at interjecting so much religion into his coaching style. Playing to his audience, Mendenhall admittedly referred to himself as an LDS mission president presiding over a group of missionaries rather than being a football coach.

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Sitake, Whittingham rekindle friendship at annual rivalry golf tournament

At the annual Liberty Mutual Invitational golf tournament supporting the National Kidney Foundation, BYU coach Kalani Sitake and Utah coach Kyle Whittingham shared laughs — but Whittingham had the last one as his Ute-based squad won the duel.

In public settings, he would point out that LDS players who didn’t go to BYU rarely followed through with at least initial plans to serve a two-year church mission. As they recruited LDS players, Utah coaches sometimes got back reports that Mendenhall over-emphasized religion as opposed to football and education.

With a staff comprised of several LDS men, including Whittingham, the Utah coaches had to fight the perception that their university and program couldn’t satisfy the religious desires of Mormon recruits. Along with some other issues that got in the way, Whittingham and Mendenhall never warmed up to each other.

“I don’t know how that ever got started,” Whittingham said of the perception the two coaches disliked one another. “Me and Bronco were very different. There was never animosity on my part. I can’t speak for him, but it was just two guys who were very different. Kalani was a guy I had on my staff for 10 years, so it’s a different deal.”

The new era features the two head coaches with much in common. Interestingly, Whittingham and Sitake have deep BYU roots, having played there for LaVell Edwards. Both readily recognize the influence the legendary coach has had on their lives and careers.

In a way, it is refreshing to have the two coaches like each other. As fan bases of both sides readily admit, the rivalry between Utah and BYU too often had crossed the line.

Leading by example, Whittingham and Sitake can put the hotly contested football game in perspective. Both coaches will want to beat the other in the annual game, but they won’t let the outcome deter a longstanding friendship.

“I love Kalani. He’s been a great football coach, a great person, a very close friend. It’s changed the dynamic a little bit in my opinion on the rivalry. I’m sure he’s going to do a great job down there. I’m excited for him.”

The theory goes if the men whose livelihood depends on the final scores can keep the game in context, then so can the passionate fans. Let’s hope so.

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