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SALT LAKE CITY -- The royal wedding is just hours away, and while it may seem like a fairy tale come true, reality is much different. Marriage experts say "happily ever after" is just too high of an expectation.
Everywhere you look, it's all about the gorgeous Kate Middleton and her Prince William. Growing up, we see messages of what marriage should be. But Salt Lake newlyweds Jed and Michelle Layton see it otherwise. They've been married for a month.
"You see movies where romance just happens," Michelle said.
Jed added, "A real marriage takes a lot of work and effort."
It's always me first, what's in it for me? That's death for a relationship.
–Larry Tippets, teaches marriage class
The Laytons have been enrolled in a marriage preparation class at the Salt Lake University Institute of Religion. Their teacher, Larry Tippets, says there can be a gap between expectations and reality.
"It requires a lot of grit, a lot of determination, perseverance, sacrifice, things like that," he said.
Licensed Marriage and Family therapist Jonathan Swinton says research shows relationship satisfaction is at its highest at the beginning of a relationship.
"This perception of a fairy tale certainly isn't reality in the long term," he said.
He tells couples that on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the best the relationship can be, they should shoot for an average of 8. Some days it will be lower, some days higher.
Swinton says the majority of marital problems he sees are about selfishness.
"Couples who really want their spouse to be No. 1, all the other pieces tend to fall into place," said Swinton.
"We are a very individualistic society, and it's always me first, what's in it for me? That's death for a relationship," said Tippets.
E-mail: mrichards@ksl.com
