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SALT LAKE CITY -- There's no doubt about it: Fatherhood is changing.
Sociology professor Arlie Russell Hochschild noted, "Forty years ago it was socially acceptable for a father to come home after work, pick up the newspaper, wait for dinner, play with his children when he felt like it and enforce his authority as required. That was ‘good enough.'"
That was then. This is now.
"Today, in addition to working for pay, a father is expected to be an interested guide, an engaged friend and warm presence to his children at home," he said.
Ralph LaRossa, who started the History of Fatherhood Project at Georgia State University, expands on this ideal: "The consensus of opinion in American society is that something has happened to American fathers. Long considered minor players in the affairs of their children, today's fathers often are depicted as major parental figures, people who are expected to -- people who presumably want to -- be there when their kids need them."
While the expansion of their roles may seem daunting to "old-fashioned" dads, countless others are rising to the occasion.
"Being a dad to three girls, I try to be as involved in their lives as I am able," said Stephan Bergen. "Most of the time it is something fairly simple, be it helping them get ready for bed, reading to them or playing a few video games with them. Since I am away from them most of the day, any type of involvement is important. It also helps give the wife a small break in her day."
As sociologists track the shifts in attitudes, scientists are tracking the outcomes of this change. By and large, they're discovering what many families already know: Children with involved fathers are happier, do better in school, have positive social relationships and are less likely to be involved in risky behaviors, among many other outcomes.
In short, a child thrives in nearly all areas of life when a father is engaged. Here's how and why.
A father shares a biological bond with his child
It's not just moms who are inherently in tune with their children. Fathers experience many of the same physical responses to their offspring as mothers, such as an increase in "the mothering hormone" prolactin before their child's birth and a drop in testosterone levels shortly after. Fathers can even suffer from postpartum depression, too.
Children exhibit their own biological reactions specific to Mom and Dad which are a direct result of each parent's typical method of care. In an article for "Scientific American Mind," science writer Emily Anthes said, "In traditional two-parent households, moms tend to provide most of the care and comfort to infants, whereas dads are more likely to play with them."
Children pay attention to this pattern, and before long they subconsciously react each time they interact. "An infant picked up by his mother will calm down, showing decreases in heart rate and respiration. When Dad picks up his child, however, the child's heart rate and respiration increase -- a sign that Junior's getting excited for a rollicking game."
Working fathers are primarily prone to this pattern, since they're away from their children often and want to make up for lost time and set a pattern of closeness. For Bergen, this is a motivating factor. "I don't know if I do it more for any reason other than to stay connected with my kids. They are all currently under the age of 6, so I hope that the relationship I develop with them now will continue throughout their lives -- especially through the teen years I am dreading."
A father challenges his children
Positive father involvement is associated with better peer relationships, fewer behavioral problems, lower criminality and substance abuse, higher educational/occupational mobility, capacity for empathy, more satisfying adult partnerships, and higher self-esteem and life-satisfaction, among others.
When it comes to play, fathers and mothers each bring something different. While moms play games like patty cake and sing songs, dads are more likely to play physically with their children, such as bouncing, wrestling, tickling or tossing them in the air.
As children grow the play escalates, and fathers are known for encouraging their kids to take physical risks. Anthes quotes a 2007 study by NYU psychologist Catherine Tamis-LeMonda: "'In the physical motor domain, that might be one of the functions of dads -- to challenge kids a little more,' [Tamis-LeMonda] says. Together two parents may strike a nice balance, she adds, in which Mom acts as a ‘lifeguard' and Dad functions as a ‘cheerleader.'"
As a result of this encouragement, children become more open to new experiences and are better equipped to handle difficult challenges -- physical or otherwise -- all through life.
A father's involvement affects emotional and cognitive development
From infancy through childhood and far into adulthood, the presence of an involved father equals emotional stability. At the basic level, the child knows he is a priority.
Kami Nielson, mother of 2-year-old Chase, already sees the emotional benefits of her husband Adam's hands-on involvement as a dad. "We have a bedtime routine with Chase every night, and part of that is Adam making Chase's stuffed dogs talk to him and fly around," she said. "Chase pretty much thinks this is the best thing that could happen to him. I can see it is his favorite part of the day. I can tell that Chase knows that he is important to his dad because he gets this time with him every night."
Stephanie Thacker, mother of 7-year-old Jackie, 4-year-old Savannah, and 2-year-old Collin, says she notices their father's influence when he is away from home. While her husband Ryan was on a recent five-day trip, "Every day the girls were fighting and crying about something no matter what I did. Collin was missing his dad and wasn't sleeping through the night," she said. "As soon as Ryan came home, everything calmed down and was back to normal. I am so grateful to have Ryan a part of their lives every day. He helps keep everything in balance."
"I honestly don't know how you can be a dad and not be involved with your kids," Bergen said. "It is such an important component in their growth and maturity." -Stephan Bergen, father of three
The effects of an involved father on a child's development are far-reaching. According to a report by the Fatherhood Institute, positive father involvement is associated with better peer relationships, fewer behavioral problems, lower criminality and substance abuse, higher educational/occupational mobility, capacity for empathy, more satisfying adult partnerships, and higher self-esteem and life- satisfaction, among others.
Studies have also proven that early father involvement has a profound effect on a child's cognitive development, from better language development to higher IQs. According to Fathers Direct:
- U.S. fathers' involvement in routine childcare has been associated with children's higher school grades.
- Frequency of fathers' reading to 1- to 2-year-olds is linked with their greater interest in books later.
- A significant relationship is found between positive father engagement at age 6 and IQ and achievement at age 7.
A father's influence will last a lifetime
For most involved dads, no amount of research can convince them that being a father is important -- that's because they already know it.
"I honestly don't know how you can be a dad and not be involved with your kids," Bergen said. "It is such an important component in their growth and maturity. At the same time it is incredibly humbling when you realize that despite being the grownup, you don't have all the answers."
No matter what benefits their children may be reaping, now or in the future, fathers are gaining their own.
"I love being a dad. I love the spontaneous hugs and kisses from my kids each day. I love seeing the smiles on their faces when they show me their latest creation, and then ask me if I am going to put it on my desk at work," Bergen said. "I love the endless questions on how things work, or what certain words mean. I love being able to introduce them to the things in life that I love."
Email: lmaxfield@ksl.com
