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UTAH STATE PRISON — To this day, Michael Todd Brinkman says he can't remember hitting and killing Brayden Beddoes in a construction zone on I-215.
"Apparently I wasn't out of the construction zone, but I thought I was. And when I came to, I was just rolling real slow and I got back on the freeway and went home. I have no recollection whatsoever of hitting anybody or anything," he said during his parole hearing Tuesday.
On Oct. 25, 2009, Brinkman was driving home from duck hunting when prosecutors say he swerved into a construction zone near 3300 South on I-215 and hit Beddoes before driving off. Beddoes was wearing a helmet, a reflective orange vest and ear plugs and had his back to the road when Brinkman's truck smashed through the barricades and hit him.
Brinkman later pleaded guilty to reduced charges of manslaughter and obstruction of justice and apologized in court to the Beddoes family. But neither family members nor 3rd District Judge Randall Skanchy believed the apology was sincere.
Brinkman wiped blood off his bumper when he got home. Skanchy said if Brinkman were truly remorseful, he would have called police the next day.
Brinkman showed little emotion during the trial, insisted he was not under the influence of cocaine at the time — even though he tested positive for having it in his system and traces of cocaine were found in his truck — and insisted a medical condition was to blame.
He was ordered to serve up to five years at the Utah State Prison.
During Tuesday's hearing, Brinkman, 55, recounted for parole board member Clark Harms how he was driving home that day and missed an exit off I-215 that he wanted to take before he came up on the construction zone.
"I started getting tightness in my chest and dizziness and started sweating quite a bit. And I thought, 'Well, I need to get off the freeway,'" he said.
Since being in prison, Brinkman said he has blacked out four times and had to be resuscitated once. His last blackout episode was about six months ago, he said.
"I thought when I blacked out in here, everyone would understand what took place," he said.
Brinkman has not been diagnosed with any medical condition by doctors and doesn't know what causes the blackouts.
Like at trial, Brinkman was nonchalant with his answers to Harms. He continued to insist he did not use cocaine that day.
I meant no malice and I can't imagine the level of horror I put them through. It's not right. I don't know what they think. I know what I would think. All I can do right now is apologize for it.
–Michael Brinkman
"I don't believe I did," he told Harms.
He said a second independent test commissioned by his defense team showed no cocaine was in his system. Brinkman also does not know why there were traces of the drug found in his truck.
"Probably from one of the guys that works with me," he said. "I have no idea how it got in there."
Brinkman has not taken any substance abuse treatment classes while in prison because he says he doesn't need them.
When Harms asked Brinkman what the facts of his case were as stated in court when he pleaded guilty to manslaughter, Brinkman said, "As far as I know I didn't admit to anything."
Brinkman said he had been reading a lot in prison, had taken some college courses and life skills classes, and has had jobs doing data entry and working in the prison print shop.
The parole board had received numerous letters in support of Brinkman, Harms said. Brinkman said his business partners also told him he still had his job waiting for him to return once he is released.
"I just told 'em I'll be in prison. I've never been in so much trouble in all my life," he said.
No one from the Beddoes family attended Tuesday's hearing. Brinkman said if they were there, he would have formally apologized to them.
"I meant no malice and I can't imagine the level of horror I put them through. It's not right," he said. "I don't know what they think. I know what I would think. All I can do right now is apologize for it."
Brinkman has already served four years. Harms noted that even if the full parole board votes not to grant early release, the worst case scenario would be that Brinkman would be let out of prison in a year.
"I've always told everybody that I've killed somebody. It's a gift at five years," Brinkman said.
