The built-in phrase parents need to stop saying (and what to do instead when kids don't listen)

SALT LAKE CITY — It's a phrase that almost feels built into our parenting language: "you're not listening." But when a teenager doesn't do what you ask or respond to what you say, it actually isn't a listening problem.

Sean Kane is a former middle school teacher and dad of three. He teaches research-backed parenting strategies on his Instagram platform "Growth Mindset Parenting." He said that every parent should retire that question: "are you listening to me?"

Ask Them to Repeat the Request

Help Them Internalize the Message

Close the Loop with Feedback

Find more parenting advice from Sean Kane on Instagram, @growth.mindset.parenting.