Estimated read time: 2-3 minutes
This archived news story is available only for your personal, non-commercial use. Information in the story may be outdated or superseded by additional information. Reading or replaying the story in its archived form does not constitute a republication of the story.
Listen to Matt on Studio 5 on the same subject.
5 Areas to Assess Before You Bail
Physically- Are you healthy and strong physically, and do you feel good about the shape you are in?
Spiritually- Do you feel connected to your higher values and higher power? Do you feel peace about the decision?
Socially- Do you have a support network of pro-marriage friends and family? Do you have people to call when you need to talk?
Emotionally- Do you feel emotionally balanced? Are there any outstanding psychological or emotional issues that need to be addressed?
Financially- Do you have a plan for how you are going to make it financially? Do you know how to save? Do you have a job or skills to get a job? Important Points to Remember
Get Your House In Order Own 100% of Your Part of the Problems Learn Skills To Relate Before Over?
Slowing down the decision making process not only decreases future regrets, but it also makes the process go much smoother if you do end up going through with divorce. 66% of people who divorced wished that they and their spouse had tried harder to work through their differences. Don't ever take all of the blame because that just isn't real. If you are 25% responsible for the marital failure, own 100% of that 25%. Always remember that you chose your partner and thought that was a solid choice. You convinced everyone else in your world that it was a good idea. You have responded or not responded to your partner. You may have ignored, avoided, argued or ridiculed your partner. You don't need to feel guilty about all of your choices. You do, however, need to own them, because whatever choices you don't own, you can fix. Remember that while divorce ends your marriage, it doesn't terminate your relationship, especially if children are involved. For the rest of your life there will always be a history and a personal sense of how effective you were in your relationship with your ex-spouse. Any improvement in relationship skills will only enhance your ability to heal and co-parent your children. Use the opportunity to learn to communicate better as a way to see if your marriage can be improved by better relationship skills. In order to make a healthier decision, seek professional advice with a trained counselor or coach. Make sure these experts are pro marriage and reflect your values and life beliefs. Don't just assume you've gotten help because you've seen one person.
Slow Down! Get Help That Produces Results
Before making any decisions about the most important relationship in your world, make sure that you are making that decision from a healthy and whole perspective. Use the checklist above in 5 critical areas.
