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OREM — A photo shows Andre Reyes firmly grasping his parent's hand, reflecting the hold he already had on his family's hearts. He was their future, and at four days old, he showed them how quickly and irreversibly fortunes can change.
Andre was born Nov. 4, 2011, weighing 4 pounds 13 ounces. His family called him "Andre, our not so giant," but he would have a giant impact on the world he entered. At 29 hours, Andre stopped breathing. At four days, his parents made the decision to take him off life support.
"It was the hardest decision ... after we talked to the doctors and nurses we thought long and hard about to take him off life support," said Andre's father, Juan Reyes. "But my wife and I know this not goodbye. It's 'I'll see you later, Andre.'"
Andre's death, an intense emotional trauma, had immediate financial consequences as well. It is enough of a financial burden to have a baby, and in the words of Ashley Reyes, Andre's mother, it "costs even more not to take a baby home." The family had the help of friends and family, but they knew others in their situation would not be so fortunate.
The Reyes family decided to start a charity to help other families who would never see their child smile or hear their baby's first laugh. With Andre's Angels, they want to help families know that other people have been there, and that their child's name lives on.
"When it happens, you feel as if no one in the world can possibly understand," Ashley Reyes said. "You just know you're going home in the morning to nothing, asking, 'What is happening to us?' I hate it. It's the worst thing ever. But it's a part of us now."
"Monster has quickly become both a source of comfort and joy for Andre's Daddy and Mommy."
From Andre's Angels
It is hard sometimes to work on the charity, when things like seeing a pregnant woman or a toddler still recall the sadness to Reyes' mind. But it has been a busy few months, getting the legal and organizational aspects of the startup charity taken care of.
"Usually it's OK, but honestly, I have a harder time whenever I recognize it's my son's name in front," Reyes said.
The first fundraiser for Andre's Angels was held Saturday at the Timpanogos Harley-Davidson, and Reyes said she would count it as a success. The hope is to raise enough money by the end of the year to begin helping families in January.
"We want to help these families, but part of this is also awareness, because people don't realize some babies don't come home," Reyes said. "And this is a way to keep Andre's name alive … to remember him."
For Reyes, remembering Andre means finding a new normal when her life has not turned out how she thought it would be. She believes Andre is watching over the Reyes family and that they will see him again.
"My biggest thing is I want Andre to be proud of me," she said. "I'm trying to be a good person, and to find happiness again."
It is easier to be happy on some days than on others. It has started to get better, over time, but the pain is deep.
"It's hard to know we're missing everything," Reyes said. "We don't know what he would have accomplished. We don't even know what his laugh sounds like."
To the family, though, Andre's laugh echoes down from heaven, where, as French poet Antoine de Saint-Exupéry wrote, the stars, too, are laughing.
