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SALT LAKE CITY — Lara Olson solemnly walked to the stage in Sugarhouse Park holding her son's hand, a white balloon in the other.
Tears filled her eyes. For her, the white balloon represented a life changing diagnosis and months of treatments and chemotherapy for her daughter, Brylee. If reflected the completion of a bucket list of activities and Brylee's fight with diffuse intrinsic pontine glioma, the brain tumor that ultimately took her life May 19.
Others walked to the stage at the CureSearch Walk Saturday to join Lara. Each with their white balloons, each representing a loved one lost to cancer.
Lara's own words from last year's event echoed in her mind.
"Next October, when they do the CureSearch Walk again, she's going to be one of those white balloons," Lara said in 2013 of her daughter Brylee. "And I don't want her to be a white balloon."
Byrklee, 2, and Lara's husband Cory joined them at the stage.
After a moment of silence, the balloons were released into a stormy, gray sky.
Bryker, 6, began to cry. Cory wrapped Bryker in his arms.
"She’s going to get the balloon you sent her," he said to console his son.
The last four months have been a roller-coaster for the Olson family, whose struggle and compassion was chronicled by the Deseret News during the past year.
"You have you really hard moments. And that was one of them," Lara said of Saturday's event.
"I didn’t want to be up there. I miss her and I don’t want it to be real."
But it is real, providing motivation for the more than 400 people gathered to remember loved ones they've lost, cheer on those who are now fighting their battle with cancer, and to raise money for research in hopes of finding a cure for childhood cancer.
Dozens of children were honored on stage with a medal as heroes who are still fighting or have beaten cancer. Last year, Brylee was one of them.
"You have mixed feelings. You love seeing that and you love seeing the survivors," Lara said. "But at the same time you get so mad because you’re like, why can’t my daughter be one of those?"
Cory thought he would be OK at Saturdays event, that he had run out of tears long ago.
"I just miss her. It’s hard," he said. "It’s never going to go away but you know I’ll always miss her but I had time with her. It’s a good thing."
The family has stayed busy since Brylee died. Bryker plays soccer and football. Byrklee does cheerleading and dance. Cory is training for his new job, and Lara teaches kickboxing and does marketing for the non-profit, Mascot Miracles Foundation.
When the rollercoaster is up, she said it feels wonderful to make a difference in the lives of families like hers.
"And see the connection that the mascots have with these kids and see their faces light up just like Brylee’s used to. And I love that," she said.
And when the roller-coaster is down, she wishes things were different.
"I kind of want to be on the other side because that would mean that (Brylee) would be here."
But Lara said their family is doing better than she had anticipated.
"Lately it’s been more highs than lows. The first month it was the opposite, but lately it’s been really good."
