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SALT LAKE CITY -- Life is a complicated and messy endeavor. Life Coach Kim Giles is here to help you with simple, principle-based solutions to the challenges you face. Coach Kim will empower you to get along with others and become the best you.
Question:
How do you keep your cool and stay loving when people around you treat you badly? When do you have the right to get upset and strike back?
Answer:
You always have the option of getting upset and striking back -- but it’s never a good idea.There are people who will push your buttons and tick you off every day, but they can’t make you behave badly back. You get to choose who you want to be.
Your ego will encourage bad behavior and you will feel very justified to act that way. But at the end of the day, you won’t like who you’ve become.
I believe in treating people kindly, not because they deserve it, but because it’s the kind of person I want to be.
There is a universal principle which says you can only be in one of two places in any moment. You are either choosing to give love and validation or you are asking for love and validation. This means all bad behavior is a cry for love and attention.
Most of the time, it is a really bad way to ask for love and attention, but if you could see inside this person's head, you would find an insecure human being who desperately needs some love.
The best way to handle these toxic people is to love them. Kill them with kindness. Do not behave badly back. That is what they want you to do. If you behave badly back, you give them another reason to hate you. Choose love instead.
Remember the Law of the garbage truck: Many people are like garbage trucks, and they are full of garbage like frustration, anger and disappointment. As their garbage piles up they sometimes need a place to dump it, and sometimes they dump it on you.
Don’t take it personally, it has nothing to do with you. Just smile, wave, wish them well and move on. Whatever you do, don’t take their garbage and spread it around to other people you meet.
Smart people do not let garbage trucks ruin their days. Life’s too short. Love the people who treat you right and pray for the ones who don’t. Decide to be someone who can't be offended. Life is 10 percent what you make it and 90 percent how you take it.
Never argue with an idiot, either. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
Kimberly Sayer Giles is the founder and president of LDS Life Coaching and www.claritypointcoaching.com. She is a sought after life coach who has a popular radio show LIFEadvice on Utah's AM 1430 Saturday Mornings at 8 a.m. MST
