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Valentine's Day is just three days away and men all over the Wasatch Front are practicing their pick-up lines. But if men have trouble telling whether a woman is interested, a new study says they're not alone.
One man told me, "I think they're hard to read. Sometimes they like to play games and make you want to guess what they're thinking." Another said, "They've got body language, they've got emotional chemical balance language, and it's kind of a hard translation for a man to read."
New research says maybe women have just as much difficulty reading other women. Researchers from Indiana University showed people clips from speed dates, and both sexes had trouble gauging whether a woman was interested in the man she was with.
So, is if safe to say that men are not dumb, just that women are weird? Marriage and family therapist Alisa Goodwin Snell says, "Well, I don't know if I would say that." I then asked her, "So, we are dumb?" She responded, "I'm not saying it that way, either."
Goodwin Snell says there may have been flaws in the research. She says a woman in a speed date might not be comfortable to flirt the way they normally would.
"(It's) partially because she doesn't want to compete with other women or make herself too obvious. We've all heard those women in the background who are talking catty about the girl who seems so flirtatious," she said.
But she also says many women don't know how to flirt.
"Most women will state they don't flirt with the guys they really like. They flirt with the guys they aren't afraid to flirt with, the ones that are friends, the ones that they're not as interested in," she said.
Goodwin Snell says many women feel uncomfortable with flirting, and they fear being rejected by a guy they really like. So, if women are not good at flirting, how can men tell if women are doing it?
"If she's talking to you, she's flirting. If she's maintaining a conversation with you, she's flirting. If she touches you, she's flirting," Goodwin Snell said.
But instead of all the guess work, why can't a woman just tell a guy she's interested? We like hearing that stuff, right?
"The problem is, it can very quickly look like she's needy [or] she's desperate," Goodwin Snell explained.
And, truth is guys, many times we won't call even if we get the digits. Goodwin Snell says a guy will call a lady between 50 and 70 percent of the time when he asks for her number. If she gives her number without him asking, she only has a 30 to 50 percent shot of him calling her back.
E-mail: pnelson@ksl.com
