Estimated read time: 2-3 minutes
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SALT LAKE CITY -- Almost three years ago, eight-year-old Emmalee Havertz passed away after her 2008 diagnosis with a rare form of a liver cancer more commonly seen in adults.
At the time of her diagnosis and decline, Stephen Havertz had to ask himself: "How do you tell your eight year old she's going to die?"
As a licensed clinical social worker, he decided to combine his expertise with his experience and write a book about his daughter's strength and what he learned and how he answered that question.
"Dragonfly Wings for Emmalee" takes readers on an emotional journey but also brings Havertz' professional advice about loss and grief.
"I believe all little kids, not just Emmalee, all little kids who have cancer are extraordinary," Havertz said.
- $5 of every hard copy sold will be donated
- Email Stephen at shavertz@gmail.com
But his Emmalee had wisdom beyond her years, and Havertz writes about her good days and her bad.
"I said, 'how often do you think about death?' and she said, ' I think about it every day.' And then she sobbed some more and said, 'I don't want to die because I'll miss you guys too much.' "
At the time of her treatment, eight boys in her third- grade class shaved their heads so that Emmalee would not be embarrassed without her hair.
"She was my BFFEWWD: Best Friends Forever Even When We Die," wrote one classmate.
Emmalee had also expressed interest in becoming a professional potato chip taste tester, and Make-A-Wish arranged a tour of the Frito Lay Plant for her. Sometimes after chemo, she could only taste potato chips, salt and vinegar, in particular.
Emmalee died October 1st, 2009, and her dad began writing her story a month before. The title refers to the last time the family took photographs. At the time, Emmalee was sad, until a dragonfly flew over her head, hovering for a few minutes. Emmalee had never liked bugs, but for just a few minutes, the little creature helped a photographer capture lasting images of a beloved daughter.
"She giggled and she said, 'I can feel the wind of its wings on my head,' " Havertz said.
The end of the book gives a few words of advice. Havertz understands grief and loss, and he wants to help people know what to say, and what not to say, about death.
"For someone who's grieving, it's ok to go up and ask them about their loved one," he said. "Ask them to share memories and if they cry, it's ok."
