SANDY — For a long time, Holly Thorup resisted the idea that she was a victim of domestic abuse.

Domestic abuse is "bruises, it's broken bones, it's weapons, it's disturbing, it's not me," she remembers reassuring herself. "That's not anything near what I am. That's what women go to women's shelters for."

The Sandy woman said her thinking changed when, after one particularly low point in her marriage, she made contact with local domestic violence victims' advocates who she said "educated me on abuse."

"Speaking of what had occurred was the first step and it was hard. Something about saying it aloud made it feel like it should be happening to someone else, not me, not my family," Thorup said. "On a certain level, I felt deserving of the treatment I was given. … In my mind's eye, abuse was not what I had been going through."

But Thorup said getting in touch with victim advocates helped her understand that domestic and romantic partner abuse extends beyond only physical violence and can include intimidation, degrading insults, controlling or manipulating outside relationships, using children as leverage, or financially isolating a person.

Thorup said that for many, an abusive home life at the hands of a romantic partner amounts to "death by a thousand cuts."

"You die inside and no longer recognize your beauty and strength," she said.

It is with stories like Thorup's in mind that Sandy city on Monday launched Behind Closed Doors, a weeklong domestic violence awareness campaign focused on making resources highly visible and accessible to victims.

"For those of us who have a strong support system at home, who have families who love us, I think we take for granted we can go home every night and have people who value us who re-emphasize the good qualities we possess and recharge our batteries," said Sandy Mayor Kurt Bradburn.

"This week is all about recognizing there are so many in our community who don't have that support system, who aren't able to … be with people who really emphasize for them the importance they play in the world, and love them."

In Sandy alone, there were 288 reported domestic violence assaults between September 2017 and August 2018, said Sandy Police Chief William O'Neal. There were also a total of 529 "verbal domestic incidents" in the city in that time, and 270 cases of children witnessing incidents of domestic violence, he said.

O'Neal spoke about domestic abuse Monday in a press conference at the Sandy Justice Court, standing next to displays showing one child's handprint for every domestic violence incident witnessed by a child in the city over 12 months, and one small purple awareness ribbon for every assault reported.

The statistics represented by the artistic displays, though sobering, "do not adequately reflect the number of domestic violence that occur each year in our community," O'Neal said, since so many cases go unreported.

Often, he said, "victims feel hopeless, believe they are alone and have nowhere to turn."

"Please, if you're in trouble, or if you think someone else is in trouble, call the police and/or call resources like the national domestic violence hotline. We're here to help," O'Neal said.

Thorup vividly remembers when, due to a dangerous situation in which she was "counseled by a several different people that I needed to find a safe place," she mustered the courage to gather her children and head to an emergency shelter — the kind of facility she once considered a far-fetched option that did not apply to her situation. That day changed her life, she said.

"I remember going through the house and gathering things up and putting my kids in the car and I was on my way," Thorup said. "As I sat in my car with my kids, I felt free. I finally felt free. I didn't know how things were going to go, I had no idea, but I was free and that was a feeling I had not recognized and had missed for many, many, many years."

She urged those mired in similar ordeals to "not stay behind closed doors."

"It is painful, it is scary to stand up and speak to somebody, but if something's uncomfortable, something doesn't feel right, do something."

Free and confidential help for Utahns affected by domestic violence can also be accessed on a 24/7 basis by calling 1-800-897-LINK (5465) or visiting www.udvc.org.

Awareness week

Sandy city's Behind Closed Doors campaign, being run concurrently with National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, includes a new public service announcement on the issue and will feature different events through Friday.

Tuesday: Sandy police and South Valley Services, a nonprofit providing shelter and supportive resources to domestic violence victims, will meet at the Sandy Justice Court with "any … survivors in a group setting that want a place to openly speak about their experiences and find support and strength among other survivors," the city says. Children are welcome.

Wednesday: Sandy police and South Valley Services will hold a seminar at Sandy City Hall discussing the signs of domestic violence and how to help a person who is in an abusive relationship. A question-and-answer period will be included.

Thursday: Sandy police will focus on disseminating information about domestic violence "while serving in the community," the city says.

Friday: Sandy police will begin collecting donations for South Valley Services through the end of October. In-kind donations can be made at the city justice court or the police department headquarters, but monetary donations should be made at South Valley Services' website, where a list of needed in-kind items can also be found.

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