Video highlights everything you thought you knew before becoming a parent

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SALT LAKE CITY — Remember way back before you had kids and you knew exactly how things were going to be when you actually became a parent?

And remember how most of those things flew right out the window once you welcomed your first child into your world?

A new Buzzfeed video spoofs the essence of that "expert parenting" ideal, and nails it spot on.

The video, titled "Things You're Absolutely Sure of Before You Have Kids," features childless men and women, spouting off their predictions for the beautiful life they envision for their future children. After all, parenting isn't that hard, right?

"My kids won't even know what a TV is," says one.

And even if they did, says another, they'll say, "What do we need this for? We have books!"

And then there's the issue of feeding your children. Of course, picky eaters are created, not born, right?

"My kids' favorite thing to eat is going to be vegetables," says another non-parent. Here's where I really started to laugh.

Kids definitely don't change your social life, right? Just because you have a baby, you don't have stop hitting the clubs on a nightly basis.

"I am never going to say that I can't go out after 10 p.m. because I got kids," proclaims one of the nave.

"That's what Red Bull and babysitters are for," says another in solidarity.

Bedtime should be a piece of cake.

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"When my kids are tired, they'll go to bed. It's not rocket science."

And when you have a kid, they should have your attention, 100 percent of the time. Because that's how it works when you're a good parent, right?

"When my kid says, 'Watch Mommy!' I'm going to watch every single time," says another expert.

And then comes my personal favorite: "I'm not even going to own a pair of sweatpants."

So let's turn it over to you, parents and non-parents alike. To those with children, what things did you know to be true before you had kids?

And those without little bundles of joy, what will parenting be like for you?

Weigh in in the comments section.

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Jessica Ivins

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