Mother shocked to find 7-year-old daughter's 'diyet' list

Mother shocked to find 7-year-old daughter's 'diyet' list


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SALT LAKE CITY — Hidden in the jumble of Polly Pockets and friendship bracelets scattered across her daughter's bedroom floor lay a simple piece of paper. But the words that stained the sheet sliced through an Australian mother's heart.

At just 7 years old, Amy Cheney's daughter had written up a disturbingly detailed "diyet" plan for herself. How is it that a little girl who hasn't yet mastered the art of spelling is already registering the pressure from a society obsessed with image and weight?

Cheney found herself asking that very question.

"Where did she learn the word diet? How does she even know what a freaking diet is?" Cheney wrote on Mamamia blog.


I am tired of women being portrayed as objects to be saluted and admired or shunned and shamed depending on whether they measure up to societies idealistic standard.

–Amy Cheney, blogger and mother


Cheney, who has a degree in early childhood studies, said she and her husband have made it a point to emphasize a healthy lifestyle for their family, and that weight has been an "irrelevant" issue in their home.

Despite the efforts of her parents, the child lists "yoget," "appals," and "keewee froots" as her only acceptable foods and commits to "seventeen pooshups two times a day" and "rid my bike three time a day."

"I felt sick. Physically ill. Like someone had knocked the air from my chest," Cheney wrote. "I could feel myself getting increasingly anxious the more words I was able to interpret from her 7-year-old spelling."

When Cheney confronted her daughter about the list, she said she'd learned about diets from another 7-year-old at school who was apparently on one.

It's a painful conversation no mom really wants to have with her daughter. Adding insult to injury — body image issues appear to be popping up at a much earlier age.

A study by the Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality revealed hospitalizations for eating disorders in kids under the age of 12 went up 119 percent from 1999 to 2006. Experts said that problem has only grown worse since the results of that study were made public.

A 2009 study out of the University of Central Florida surveyed 121 girls between the ages of 3 and 6. Nearly half of those young girls said they worried about being fat.

Mayo Clinic: Tips for guiding girls
Talking about body image
  • Explain the effects of puberty and genetics
  • Talk about media messages
  • Discuss self-image
  • Use positive language
  • Team up with your family doctor
  • Help establish healthy eating habits
  • Praise achievements
  • Set a good example

PBS.org offers tips for parents seeking guidance on how to talk to their girls about body image. Experts there recommend the best way to discuss weight with your daughter is simply to stop talking about it yourself. As with many such topics, this can be much easier said than done. Often, I don't realize just how much I blab about what I'm eating (or not eating, for that matter), how I feel in my jeans and how much I regret not hopping on the treadmill at the end of the day, until my parrot of a daughter gives me a recap.

It stings every time.

Here's the simple truth: When obsessing over your own body is a regular occurrence in your home, it's likely your children will accept this as the norm.

"Never put yourself down for how you look in front of your daughter," Dr. Catherine Steiner-Adair — clinical psychologist, school consultant and author — told PBS. "Don't tolerate anyone else doing this either."

Obviously there will come a time when the issue will need to be addressed, especially once your child leaves the safe haven of the home, over which you have total control, and enters the halls of his or her first school.

When that time comes, listen, said Dr. Gail Saltz with the Child Mind Institute.

#poll

Saltz said empathy is a crucial and effective form of dealing with the issue. Acknowledge the concerns and feelings of your child, and even share some of your own struggles. But in the end, it's important to show your daughter that although there will probably always be pressure to look a certain way, it can't keep her from becoming who she wants to be and accomplishing her goals if she refuses to allow it.

Focus on helping your girls learn to love the bodies they've been given, said Steiner-Adair. Make food and eating a positive experience instead of one that invokes guilt or stress. Emphasize their minds, ambitions and passions instead of their appearance. Teach them where to find their self-worth from the very beginning.

In essence, empower them by complimenting who they are, not how they look.

Cheney ended her tale with a message to society.

"I am tired of the beauty and body-obsessed arena we live in. I am tired of women being portrayed as objects to be saluted and admired or shunned and shamed depending on whether they measure up to societies idealistic standards," she wrote.

I think most parents would give a resounding amen.

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Jessica Ivins

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