Estimated read time: 2-3 minutes
THE BATTLEFIELD — I am now questioning everything I know, desperately trying to figure out why on earth things like the Super Bowls attract tens of millions of viewers, why anyone tunes into the NBA Finals, why billions around the globe are obsessed with soccer.
I'm trying to understand why all of these sports are so popular when this game, in all of its absurd glory, exists.
I don't know what this game is called, and I don't know what country these announcers are from. All I know is they are speaking Spanish and that the object of this game is to not let the balloon touch the ground.
And quite honestly, I don't want to know anymore.
I have no doubt I could spend about 70 seconds on Google and find out everything I need to know about this clip, the sport, the players and everything else, but the lack of context makes this video about a billion times better.
Remember as a kid when you and your sibling would try to keep a balloon in the air and see how long you could go? Inevitably, one of you would do a wonky hit to jeopardize the record and the next thing you know your older brother is diving headfirst into mom's table lamp to save the game. Well, some genius has taken that game and up-leveled it to a place I'm not sure is in line with the laws of nature and how much awesomeness is legally allowed.
There are two dudes in a playing field with all kinds of obstacles in it. I mean, we have everything from an arcade machine to a car. Then these guys — wearing helmets for safety when they inevitably Pete Rose it into the hood of that Volkswagen — knock a balloon around.
Instead of going for the all-time "Don't Let it Hit the Ground" record, each player is trying to make it so his opponent can't get to the balloon so it falls to the ground for a point.
Watching the madness ensue is absolutely wonderful but the excitement of the commentators sends this video into a whole new stratosphere. I don't speak Spanish and, as I said earlier, I'm glad I don't, because the lack of context takes this from enjoyable to chaotic fun in the most wonderful way possible. If you can translate it, don't tell me; I like living in my bliss.
I have a new favorite sport and a new game to play with my brothers. I don't care that we're all too old and will likely get hurt — or break mom's lamp ... again. It's worth it.