Conference focuses on creating community to help prevent suicide

OREM — Craig Miller doesn’t deem his wedding day or the day his first daughter was born as the best day of his life.

“The most important day of my life was when I was 15 years old. And I walked into a psychiatrist’s office for the first time ever,” he said. “That day had the potential to change the entire outcome of the rest of my life.”

Miller, a keynote speaker at Utah Valley University’s Conference on Suicide Prevention, shared his story about his struggle and how he sought control of his well-being.

During his childhood, there was no safe haven for Miller.

In class he was targeted by bullies. At home he’d anticipate his mother’s “calculated rage” and his alcoholic father’s inability to keep a promise. In his neighborhood, he was molested by a neighbor for years.

“I didn’t trust in my community,” he said, adding that he got to the point where he couldn’t even trust his own mind.

By age 20, he said he struggled with anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression and had survived multiple suicide attempts.

Miller said distrust in his community eventually created distrust with himself as his OCD swept ordinary interactions. He said his OCD was so severe that he’d count his words as he spoke and the number of syllables and sentences of his speech, believing that if he didn’t have a precise number that something bad would happen to him.

It wasn’t until his brother visited him at the hospital after a suicide attempt that he began to look at his life differently when his brother asked him, “What’s going to make you want to stay?”

Miller said all he wanted at the time was the “bare minimum” — to be awake and be OK and not be afraid.

“When I set out to take care of myself and live my life, I never aimed to recover, I aimed to become,” he said. “I have to believe that what we experience in life has meaning and purpose and depth.”

During a session focusing on suicide prevention in the workplace, Marla Brannum, injury prevention program coordinator for the Utah County Health Department, said it’s not just youth that are affected by suicide. In Utah, middle-aged white men face higher rates of suicide.

Factors might include a recent imminent crisis, current or past mental health problems, relationship problems or other factors, according to Brannum, adding that it’s rarely ever just one factor.

“It’s far more common than we think, and it’s a lot more treatable,” she said. “We just need to be more aware and more willing to do it.”

Brannum said creating a culture in the workplace to discuss mental health and one that allows supervisors to approve of employees taking mental health days from work is important.

Brannum said she conducts 2-hour workshops for businesses called Working Minds: Suicide Prevention in the Workplace.

But oftentimes employers have a difficult time seeing the value of providing their staff mental health or suicide prevention trainings, because employers don’t see the return on investment.

“Your employees will feel that value, they’ll feel like they matter,” Brannum said.

Workforce sectors more vulnerable to suicide are emergency personnel, first responders, farmers and veterinarians, she said.

According to a 2016 Center for Disease Control and Prevention report, factors that could contribute to suicide among farmers include social isolation, financial losses, barriers or unwillingness to seek mental health services — due to limited resources in rural areas — and access to lethal means like firearms.

Utah Valley University student Ali Ajokaiye said he attended the conference to learn more about suicide prevention — an issue he’s personally invested in.

In 2013, Ajokaiye said he went on a date with a woman. Initially, he thought the date was going smoothly, but toward the end of their date, the woman went into the bathroom and attempted to take her own life. After rushing her to the hospital, he later found that she had been struggling with severe depression.

Most recently, Ajokaiye said he was looking forward to catching up with a friend after returning to UVU for the fall semester, and later learned his friend had died by suicide over the summer.

He said his friend’s death left him wondering if he could have reached out to her over the summer or done something differently to prevent it.

“That was my wake up call, because I was very, totally naive. I had no clue. What do you do when people are depressed? And how do you help people who are depressed?” he said.

At a ceremony during the conference, 33 white doves were released at the school’s Student Life and Wellness Center Plaza to symbolize the number of students who have died from suicide over the years.

Each year, an average of 627 Utahns die from suicide and 4,574 Utahns attempt suicide, according to the Utah Violence and Injury Prevention Program.

If someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, resources are available. In Utah, the SafeUT app provides a direct connection to a crisis line. Other resources include the National Hotline, 1-800-273-8255 (TALK); University Neuropsychiatric Institute Crisis line, 801-587-3000; National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, suicidepreventionlifeline.org/.

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