THE RIVER — The power of friendship is real.
At least that’s what I used to believe. Then one of my friends punched me in the face during her sleep and I knew it was all a lie. It’s pretty disheartening to find out your best friend subconsciously wants to assassinate you.
So I had entirely given up on friendship ... until I saw this video.
Dogs, bruh...💪🐶🤭😍😏💪 pic.twitter.com/rdVLcgUnau— Rex Chapman🏇🏼 (@RexChapman) June 22, 2019
First off, dogs. They are angels which transcend the evils of humanity. Dogs do not betray people, and they certainly don’t punch you in the face during their sleep. At most, it’s a soft paw to the chin during a cute doggy dream, which is entirely excusable and adorable. That’s why dogs are man’s real best friends.
Second, dogs are not only wonderful writ large to humans, but also to other dogs. People can barely survive Black Friday without turning into demons meant to explicitly torture other people. But the dog in this video? They’ll immediately save their companion from perilous white river rapids without another thought.
There is a reason all dogs go to heaven.
First tug doesn’t work? This pooch eagerly tries again and guides their friend to a nicer stretch of rock to clamber up like a real champion. And it works!
Look at them, so happy to be reunited, shaking off the water as if nothing has happened. Despite a harrowing ordeal, these furry friends are obviously closer and happier than ever. Meanwhile, a bad week of school is enough of a “crisis” to make me consider retiring into the woods and ending all human contact.
So dogs are empirically superior to people in every imaginable way.
In short, forget human companionship. Get a dog. Get three dogs or five. The more dogs, the better. Surround yourself with wholesome, happy dogs who love you and will not secretly plan to kill you as you sleep.
So the power of friendship is real, and it is four-legged, fluffy and will save you from a river if you ever need it.