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THE UNITED STATES OF BEARMANIA — You're right, I write about bears a lot, but it's for your safety. I am here to warn you that these beasts are constantly training for the day they'll finally take over and make the human race their subjects in the newly formed United States of Bearmania.
I have shown you a bear with moves like a ninja; a bear who steals entire dumpsters; and even a bear who can walk like a human. I now give you a mama bear who has trained her cub to scale un-scaleable terrain.
While I can't say I like bears, I'm also not dead inside, so I wasn't hoping that this small bear cub would take a tumble. I found myself going against my better judgment and cheering the little monster on and hoping he'd make it to the top. He had a couple of scary moments, and I took a deep breath of relief when he made it to the top. Then I panicked.
Sure, I'm happy he made it because the smallest part in the blackest area of my soul found the little guy cute, but I also realized that the tiny quadruped is in training to destroy. My guess is this is preparation for when the bears infiltrate our cities and start climbing the outside of our skyscrapers to get into our offices.
So go ahead and ohh and ahh at this cub, but remember, he's not going to be that cute when he's staring at you through your 32nd floor office window as you sit at your desk eating your lunch.
John has been writing about movies, news, sports and pretty much anything awesome for more than five years. John is the co-host of the Flix Junkies podcast and will always entertain you with his stories.