Estimated read time: 2-3 minutes
My 16 year old told me the other day that the only reason he cares about school is me. I know I should be grateful that he has at least one reason to care about school, but it just makes me sad. I'm sad that he doesn't love school as much as I did when I was a kid. I loved to read and read everything I could get my hands on. I loved to work ahead in my spelling and language workbooks and got great satisfaction in finishing them. I don't ever remember loving math, but I never really hated it either. I just never got some of it. The only thing I remember hating about school were the polyester gym suits we were forced to wear and having to take a shower after gym. But if it was my job to instill that in him, I've failed miserably. I don't remember my mom doing anything special that caused me to love school. I just loved to read. That's the problem. He doesn't.
I reached an all new low this week. With less than two weeks left in the school year, I found myself praying that he would just get a "D" in one of his classes. Do you have any idea how desperate a parent has to be to pray for a "D." I fear if he gets his first "F," it will be all downhill from there. Last night, I said to him "for someone who hates school so much you certainly seem set on taking this class again.
I've already grounded him and taken away his x-box and cell phone. Nagging never works. I've come to the realization that I can't make him do anything he doesn't want to do and I'm at a complete loss. I'm afraid his success or failure lies squarely on his shoulders not mine. I'm have no way to control him. So why do I feel like I'm the one who's failing?