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GAMING CONSOLES EVERYWHERE — With “Need for Speed” sitting at a pathetic 24 percent on Rotten Tomatoes and 33 percent on OK.com, it seems another video game movie has failed to make the jump to the big screen.
Attempts like “Super Mario Brothers,” “Prince of Persia,” “Street Fighter,” “Mortal Combat,” “Silent Hill,” “Max Payne,” “Hitman,” “Alone in the Dark,” “Final Fantasy,” and “Double Dragon” seem to suggest video games should be left to the PC or console. But what if Hollywood just hasn’t found the right title?
Sure, they’re moving forward on “Assassin’s Creed” and “Halo” movies, both promising ventures; but what if they, too, join the long list of failed game-to-film projects? Just in case, we’ve come up with five movies of our own that might just be what audiences are waiting for.
Zelda
Why "Zelda" wasn’t one of the first titles to get a movie makeover has many gamers scratching their heads. Rich with characters, world building, adventure, visuals and some of the best music in video game history, the "Zelda" franchise seems like a screenwriter’s dream project.
If you can’t visualize it right at this moment, that’s fine. Just revisit “Ocarina of Time” or “Twilight Princess,” ride Epona through the fields of Hyrule while firing arrows off at whatever spinning flower thing is attacking you, and it will happen. You’ll think to yourself, “You know, this could be a really cool movie.”
Monkey Island
For some reason, video game movies take themselves very seriously. It’s possible filmmakers are trying to show fans a level of respect, and that’s commendable, but “Monkey Island” fans would want studios to have fun with this property.
A “Monkey Island” movie would probably be best as a 2D animated film, laid out similarly to the third game in the series, “The Curse of Monkey Island.” The existing voice cast would transfer nicely to the big screen, and now that Disney owns the Lucas library, this seems like an easy project to move forward. Hopefully once Disney execs read this article, they’ll jump right on it.
Titanfall
Let’s be honest: “Titanfall” doesn’t have an especially compelling story. However, if you take the best of “Call of Duty" and “Battlefield,” then throw in the awesome visuals of giant mech-robots battling it out, you have the makings of a very fun though brainless summer popcorn movie. Would anyone remember this movie 10 minutes after they saw it? Of course not, but they’d have a blast for the 90 minutes they were in the theater.
Portal
On its own merits, the original “Portal” probably wouldn’t have made this list. Sure, it would be down with the other honorable mentions, but not here among the top five.
However, “Portal 2” was a game changer. Visualizing a world where Chell battles both GLaDOS and Wheatley with only the use of her uncanny puzzle-solving abilities and those amazing teleporting guns, well, that could be a lot of fun to watch. Or, it could be dressed as an eerie, super-serious sci-fi that warns humanity about its inevitable future. Either way, I’d pay to see Chell jump through glowing teleportation portals.
Metroid
It’s kind of impossible to bring up a strong female protagonist fighting off predatory space creatures without mentioning “Alien.” In many ways, a “Metroid” movie would need to mimic the Ridley Scott classic, and that’s probably a good thing.
What may not be a good thing, however, is the actualization of Mother Brain as a villain — at least as far as the “Metroid” and “Metroid: Zero Mission” designs are concerned. Samus may have a hard time with a giant, breathing brain in the game, but on screen I don’t think audiences would buy it. Instead, following the organic super computer story from “Metroid Prime 3: Corruption” could be the answer, and now that I’ve solved that problem, let’s have our Metroid movie made already.
Honorable mentions
Here are five more games that almost made the list. It was hard to cut most of these, but in our world of top fives, it just didn't happen.
- Castlevania
- BioShock
- Grim Fandango
- Half-Life 2
- Shadow of the Colossus
