Taming the Boo: 7 Ways for new moms to manage fear and anxiety

Taming the Boo: 7 Ways for new moms to manage fear and anxiety


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SALT LAKE CITY — There are certain things in life we are expected to feel nervous and anxious — black cats, skeletons and ghosts, for example. Then there's the fear of what to do when you become a mother.

Most new moms have feelings of fear and anxiety after having a baby. It is often not expected, yet more common than we realize.

Here are seven ways to help calm those fears after the baby is born:

1. First, it’s important to understand that every mom (and dad) has many worries. But when anxiety interferes with your ability to enjoy life, it needs to be addressed.

2. When you find yourself on the “hamster wheel” of worry or fear, ask the following questions:

  • “Have I had enough water today?” An anxious brain may be a dehydrated brain.
  • “Am I breathing deep belly breaths?” Shallow breathing deprives the brain of oxygen leading to fuzzy thinking.
  • “Have I had enough rest today?” Realizing your brain is sleep-deprived and is contributing to your anxiety can be helpful.
  • “Am I engaging in 'What if?' thinking?” If so:

3. Remind yourself that anxiety and fear are usually about either the past — which we cannot change — or the future — which we cannot predict — and we have no control over either.

4. Bring your awareness back to the present: the room, the smells, the texture of the couch, your breath going in and out your nose, and sensations in your body.

5. Ask yourself, “What thoughts am I having that are bothering me and what is the evidence my fears are likely to come true? What action can I take today to help myself feel more in control and what can I let go?”

6. Most importantly, share your worry and fears with a trusted person on a daily basis. Also, write them down before bed, along with the doable actions to help you let the anxiety go and feel better. If fears and worries persist, seek the help of a professional therapist.

7. Caveat: Some moms may have scary thoughts or images that pop into their minds, which they can't control. Sometimes, these thoughts can even be about hurting the baby. If the thoughts and images are disturbing and bother the mom, this is a good sign! With psychotherapy and medication women usually find relief within a very short time for these common symptoms.


Kristin B. Hodson, MSW, LCSW and Amy-Rose White, MSW, CSW are licensed physiotherapists at The Healing Group in Salt Lake City, Utah. Their Hey Mom! campaign is designed to unite women and their families around PPD. Visit www.thehealinggroup.com.

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