How can a new mom resolve concerns about breastfeeding?

Apr. 17--Q: We just went through something I hope I can help other parents to avoid. When our baby was 5 days old, she had not yet gained weight. I was trying to breastfeed, and the doctors I spoke to were not helpful. I wondered if I could continue nursing at all because we were so rattled by their warnings that she was doing poorly. She is now doing great on breast milk alone, but we went through issues with supplements, breast shields and lots of self-doubt. My husband was really freaked out. How can a new family avoid what we went through?

A: Breastfeeding is one of several women's issues that evoke a lot of emotion and conflicting opinions from just about anyone and everyone you consult, says panel member Marcie Lightwood.

The ultimate goal, panel members say, is to deliver nutrition to your baby's body and to bond with her.

That said, panel members and just about everybody on the planet agree that breastfeeding is the best food for your baby, and that there is no better food for her than the one custom-made for her through you. It's the easiest for her to digest while providing all kinds of disease-fighting immunities.

As you already know from speaking with your doctor, the information you get can conflict with the information you want. From the way the question was worded, you wanted to know how to succeed at breastfeeding, and what you got were ideas on alternatives.

Keep at it, panel members say. Find yourself a support system of people who have the same level of determination you do. And if you don't find them right away, keep looking.

Just as there are people who don't seem to understand how important this is to you, be aware that there are also people who might have more enthusiasm for breastfeeding than you do.

Don't be fooled into thinking that everybody is trying to get you to bottle feed your baby. For every ambivalent doctor who may dissuade a new mom from dedicating themselves to the pleasure and task of nursing her baby, you can easily find an overenthusiastic breastfeeder who could intimidate a mom into believing they're not doing the best for their baby if they choose not to breast-feed or choose to supplement breastfeeding with bottles.

If you look hard for someone to cheer you on -- through every idiosyncracy of your daughter's eating habits to breast or nipple infections that need not mean the end of your nursing days -- you will find her.

If you are determined to breastfeed no matter what, consider contacting the La Leche League, a group made up of strong advocates for breastfeeding.

Try a lactation consultant, says guest panelist Christy Yerk-Smith, who overcame several hurdles in her successful attempts to breast-feed both her children by working with one. She fed her children supplemental bottles.

"We had every strike against us," she says, including some physical and logistical problems in the early days of trying to breast-feed her first child, "but it was incredibly important to me to breast-feed for bonding."

"It went much more smoothly with the second child," she said.

The hardest part of the process is that as a mother, you can't delegate the collection of this information, you have to do it yourself, says Lightwood.

If you want to nurse your baby, it's best to find a pediatrician who will support you through the problems you will encounter before your baby is born, she says. You can ask specific questions about how the doctor would handle issues such as inverted nipples or mastitis. His or her first answer should not be just to stop breastfeeding, she says.

Your emotional state is very important at this time in your life, says panel member Joanne Nigito.

"If you're successful in what you choose to do, you feel good. But if you're having difficulties, it's important that you not feel guilty," she says.

That idea is carried out in guest panelist Denise Salvaterra's work with young mothers, many of whom choose not to breast-feed.

"You can bond if you don't breast-feed," she says, "Our focus, when we're in homes assessing feeding, is that you're feeding your baby more than food. The bond you establish when you feed your child grows from the early feeding process into societal interaction, the give and take between family and child," she says.

"Whether your breast or bottle feed, it's important for you to hold eye contact and to understand what you're committing to," says panel member Roberta Zelleke.

The bottom line is that it's your decision to make. Don't give up until you find the help and encouragement that suits your needs.

familyproject@mcall.com

610-820-6562

The Family Project is a collaboration between The Morning Call and parenting professionals brought together by Valley Youth Houses's Project Child, the Lehigh Valley's child-abuse prevention coalition.

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