Motherhood Matters: What makes a mother?


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SALT LAKE CITY — We all can identify people in our lives who parent but maybe aren't our parents. Some experts say those outside influences can have more of an impact that we realize.

Kim Kettle spends time making cookies with her niece and nephew.
Kim Kettle spends time making cookies with her niece and nephew.

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For Kim Kettle, the role of "mother" is a matter of perspective. "I thought my life would look different at this time," she said. "I don't have children, and so I decided I wanted to be the best aunt to eight nieces and nephews and made it a priority to make sure I could be part of their lives, that I could influence them."

As a proud aunt, Kim makes an active effort to be an active force in their lives. Whether it's a surprise vacation or an afternoon spent in a playroom created especially for them, it's a special relationship that benefits both sides.

"What I appreciate about Kim is that she really genuinely loves my kids," said Lori Hunt, Kim's sister. "And I know there's not very many people who love your kids as much as you do as a parent."

"I think we all have that mothering instinct; and we desperately need each other, especially as women," said Dr. Liz Hale, clinical psychologist.

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According to Hale, there are unique gifts those "outside" parenting influences can offer. For example, experience and advice are sometimes better swallowed by someone other than an actual parent (Parents of any teenager know that). Hale also points out the extra support and encouragement can take on a different meaning for the child.

"We expect our parents to show up and be there and love," Hale said. "But when someone from the outside does it, wow does it ever stand out."

"I love every one of them and have told them no matter what they do, they can always come to Aunt Kimmy's house," Kim said.

Tuesday's Motherhood Matters challenge involves this topic. The challenge is to recognize the non-mothers in your life and avoid judgment through titles, labels or roles.

If you take on the challenge and leave a comment on the Motherhood Matters blog at studio5.ksl.com, you could win a $100 gift certificate to Tai Pan Trading.

Email: bwalker@ksl.com

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