Fighting back the superficial 'sexy' trend

Fighting back the superficial 'sexy' trend

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SALT LAKE CITY — Like many women, I’m done with the relentless onslaught from society of what is supposed to be “sexy.” Apparently, as a mother of seven, and to appeal to my husband, I must have the following:

• Plump lips
• Thick lashes
• Smooth, silky legs … and arms … and hair … and skin
• Firm abs and buns
• Hair that stays all day in my exact hairdo from 7 a.m., yet still swings.

But that’s not all — and in case I forget, there are plenty of reminders in daily life. There's my hairspray, as in “Big, Sexy Hair,” or my makeup. Case in point: I had a wonderful makeover done with big-name makeup but couldn’t buy the truly fabulous eye color because of its name. I can’t even print the name in this article … did I mention that it was eye color?

So, after talking with other women and posting on Studio 5 Facebook page and my website, I’m sharing what some of the “real” population of wives feels is truly sexy about their men (not limited to, and not necessarily in order):

1. He takes the night shift with the baby.

In her book, "Families Who Laugh … Last," Janene Wolsey Baadsgaard shares, “I used to love my husband for the way he looked in his basketball uniform. Now I love him for the way he looks in his striped flannel pajamas after being up with a sick baby all night.”

Amen.

VIDEO: A 'Studio 5' discussion

2. He fixes things.Some husbands use duct tape (one husband uses it for literally everything, including couch seats) and some husbands make a phone call. I feel a thrill each time I say, “Honey, the furnace isn’t working,” and he says, “OK, I’ll take a look at it.”

And then I love to watch him work. Not just because he’s saving us money, not just because it’s convenient, but because his movements are knowledgeable and sure. He’ll grab this tool, and move that wire, and install this piece of something-or-other, and make it work.

3. He does housework of any kind.

Whether it’s vacuuming, cooking or doing dishes, women love this. One Facebook response shared: “My husband is an awesome husband and father. Anything from changing diapers, making food, putting to bed. … He is the ULTIMATE MAN!”

4. He plays a musical instrument.

Oh yes. Singing, playing the piano, guitar, maybe even a ukulele — let your imagination fly — but women love this. My brave friend Emily agreed that not only is a musical instrument fabulous, but that she had just recently videotaped her husband doing this. With permission from them both, although possibly a bit hesitantly from said fabulous husband, we share the video.

5. He loves in the tough times.

Perhaps my favorite response came from this gal: “I can tell you exactly what is sexy! A husband that stays by your side with stage 4 melanoma cancer. Shaves his head when you lose your hair to chemo. Holds a cool washcloth quietly behind you while you are throwing up in the toilet. The list could go on and on. I am married to a big time sexy man!!!"

Loving, serving, living with purpose and joy in family life.

THAT’S sexy.

For an enhanced discussion on this topic, click the link above to watch Connie's Apr. 17 segment on "Studio 5 with Brooke Walker", or visit www.conniesokol.com.


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About the Author: Connie Sokol ------------------------------

Connie Sokol is an author, speaker, TV contributor and mother of seven. Contact her at www.conniesokol.com.

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